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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

This chicks running away!

I'm in a funk... sometimes I just feel overwhelmed. Annalise has been a little demanding and by little that is as sarcastic as it comes. I can't even step a foot away from her without her totally freaking out and having a complete meltdown. I honestly love that girl more than life itself, however I do not love to be connected to her 24 hours a day. And that is how we are right now... for the past 11 almost 12 months.

She is such a demanding little girl. My son also is pulling on my tolerance cables and this mommy feels like running away. I love my children with every ounce of my soul but I must say for the past 6 years that I've been a mother I feel like I've been the most unselfish mother... I feel like it's time for me to start being a little selfish. My whole world revolves around my kids so much so that sometimes I've forgotten who I am besides a mother. What did I like/love to do before I became pregnant? What were my passions? If someone would have asked me that question I would not have an answer.

I love my life and I love being a mother, that is one thing I've always wanted to be. But as they get older and as I get older (my birthday is tomorrow people)... I've realized that I need to become a little more selfish and start DEMANDING time for myself. It's time for Mike to step in and take the reins with Annalise... he's real good about his time with Jared, but we need to work on Anna. What will I do with myself and my selfish time? And I also need to stop calling it "selfish time" because there is nothing selfish about spending sometime away from the kids. If I don't start doing it now I may make myself crazy, cause sometimes I feel crazy!

As I mentioned this above, my birthday is tomorrow. I am going to be 28, OH MY GOSH 2 more years and I'm gonna be 30. I totally feel like it was yesterday and I turned 18 where has the time gone?

2 comments:

lauraslifetoday said...

I'll back you up girl! YOU NEED IT!! Demand it. I'm serious! It will save your marriage and your kids..you have to pamper you...So, enjoy your birthday and ask Mike to give you a night away as a gift.

Audrey said...

Happy birthday to you! Nancy's birthday is the 29th I always get you two confused! Anyhow you're right you need time too. I remember Caden going through a stage like that around the time he started walking... it's like they start to see themselves as seprate from you, and it freaks them out. Maybe that's why she is having a hard time sleeping too?I called Danielle one day when caden was about 10 months old and we planned a vacation day for us..It was GREAT! Do it! Do it! Do it!