Monday, October 27, 2008

Breaking it down people.....

Ok so for about a week or so I've been blogging in my head... trying to find the right words to express something that has been really bothering me. I guess first I'll ask the question I've been wondering for sometime. Do I come across like I'm "to good" for people, or I'm better then some people? I ask this because someone said that to me recently. So this post is dedicated to this lovely person and whomever else may think this, or to the some who just want to know a little more about me. I'll start by saying that I am in NO WAY better than anyone and do not live or have the "perfect" life. Yes I have a husband and 2 BEAUTIFUL children... but behind closed doors, or wide open doors in fact we live a crazy hectic and sometimes overwhelming life. I don't try to hide what happens, I may not blog about it... but it's there and it's for everyone to see.

We'll kick this off with the fact that I am a mother of 2, this may not seem like a big thing but I was a mother of only 1 for 5 years. That's a long span to then bring in another child. We'll just say bringing Anna into the mix has changed my relationship with Jared and it's a work in progress for getting it on the right track.

Ok I'm gonna break it down (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER):

  • I have a temper like no-other, I have no patience... although this is something I work on DAILY, it's a work in progress.
  • My daughter does NOT, I repeat does NOT sleep through the night and has only slept through the night 1 time in her whole year of life.
  • My husband and I do not sleep in the same bed... this is because of the above.

(because Anna does not sleep through the night and gets up every 1 to 2 hours I don't sleep, which means when he's snoring like a crazy gorilla I kick him out because then I can't get any sleep for the remainder 20 minuets in between her feeding and tossing and turning...)

  • My daughter sleeps in "our" bed. (This is again because she gets up soooo much, and well hardly sleeps at all anyway)
  • Jared and I get along about 50% out of everyday
  • I feel as if I'm going crazy some days and because of this my lovely doctor gave me some medication to help and then when I forget to take it (which is often) I become even more crazy!
  • Mike and I only KNEW each other for 3 months prior to getting pregnant... through some of the hardest times in my life and his to (I'm sure of it) we've been together for 7 of the craziest years.
  • I am addicted to Dr. Pepper in a bad bad bad way (thanks Mom)... Mike suggested I stop drinking it the other day so I went 1 whole day without drinking Dr. Pepper and I have to say it is almost if not worse than quiting smoking. So I am still addicted and do not plan on quiting anytime soon.
  • I used to smoke... I quit ONLY because I was pregnant with Jared. I loved smoking (honestly do not ask me why)... but I will NEVER ever smoke again. I do dream about it sometimes, it's the weirdest thing and I always feel so guilty.
  • I love watching reality tv and Mike calls me immature for watching shows like "The Hills", "Real World" etc... he says that I need to grow up I'm not in High school anymore and I need to stop living in that world. (THAT IS NOT WHY I WATCH THE STUPID SHOWS)
  • I devote my whole self to my family and my children to a fault.
  • I do not do anything for myself.
  • If my hair is not cut short I will hardly/never wear it down... always in a bun.
  • I have a brother whom is the same age as my son. WEIRD!
  • I want to be an organic/green person... but I have such a hard time breaking bad habits.
  • I hate cleaning my bathroom, I HATE IT!
  • I don't really like ice cream that much
  • I am sorta afraid of the dark
  • I like even numbers and if I do something like clap my hands or something it has to be in even numbers
  • When I put the dishes in the dishwasher it has to go in a certain way. The silverware has to be separated with it's match... when Mike does the dishes it TOTALLY bugs me cause the silverware is not separated.
  • I get very anxious when things are not cleaned and when things are cluttered... but I don't enjoy cleaning at all.
  • Out of all my friends I had in school... I've only remained friends with 2 whom I've know since 4th/5th grade...
  • I haven't been to a movie theater in over a year
  • I've been promising Jared a "mom and me day" for almost a year... and we have not been able to yet.
  • I absolutely love living in Lacey and love that my sister in-laws watch the kids a lot so me and my hubby can go on dates.
  • The minuet I saw Mike I knew we'd be together forever... and actually the minuet I saw his name on the schedule for work I knew it... weird right!
  • I love that I've breastfed both my children, but I hate breastfeeding Anna now. She will not sit still long enough to eat, and likes to move so much while eating. It drives me NUTS!
  • I still love NKOTB and get to see them in concert really really soon.
  • Mike and I have only been on 1 vacation alone in the whole 7 years we've been together. That was our trip to Tahoe.
  • I HATE folding laundry.
  • I had blond hair once and it was so ugly.
  • I absolutely LOVE Christmas time... If I could decorate for Christmas right now I would. It gives me such a warm and fuzzy feeling!
  • I do not forgive or forget very easily. When you hurt me or my family it will take sometime for me to allow you back in... if at all.
  • I absolutely hate drugs and am sooo thankful I found a man who believes in the same things and values as I do. I've had to much pain and hurt from people who abuse and us drugs and alcohol.
  • I've always wanted to be a teacher.
  • I do not like taking naps and people (my husband) who do... minus the kiddo's taking naps cause then I get some alone time.
  • I love getting knew cloths.
  • I had a miscarriage Dec. 26th, 2005.
  • I always have to buy a new outfit for events or parties.
  • My dad would not allow me to get a job until I was 18, he wanted me to focus on school.
  • I am the worst hypochondriac... I always think I've got something or something is wrong and I'm gonna die.
  • I am scared of dying and leaving my children and husband alone.
  • I worry about everything to much.
  • I still feel like I'm 18. It really hasn't registered that I'm a mother of 2, I'm married, oh and I'm 28.
  • My 10 year reunion is coming soon and I'm still debating on if I'll go or not.
  • I lived in Illinois for 3 of the hardest life lesson months of my life.
  • And I do know that everything in life happens for 1 reason or another.

So this isn't exactly what I was meaning to do. But it was kinda fun thinking of all these things, and giving you guys a little more insight to my world/mind. I am angry that someone would say or even think that about me... because if you knew me and this person should know me... would know without a doubt that I'm not perfect. I try to be, I try to be the best person that I can be. Some days I'm not so good at it, some days I'm just a mean brat. But honestly I love with all my being and I without a doubt would die for my children. I give myself 100%, and I give without asking anything in return. So if you don't know me you got to know a little bit more about me and if you do know me, well now you know more.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Fun weekend, busy week!

Things have been crazy for us lately. With Mike's work, Jared's school, Anna and Ryker... I feel like I'm spinning! But in all this craziness things are good! Today was Aunt Tiana's baby shower, which was lots of fun. She got a lot of good things!

Yesterday was a good day for Mike and I and the family. We went grocery shopping and then went shopping for Mike so he could get some grown up cloths! :) We haven't gotten to see much of each other lately with his new job. It's been really hard for me, but he's happy and loves his job (I guess that's all that matters, right?).

Well I just wanted to give a short update... I'm really tired and just want to sit with Jared and watch some tv. I will post a few cute pics and a few new blogs maybe tomorrow or Monday!!!

Monday, October 20, 2008

One more and I've got to run...

Ok and one more cute pic and I have to get going... got lots to do. I promise I will post about all the things we've been up to, because we've been up to a lot. But right now is not the time, I am truly sorry!

This is a new outfit she got from 1 of her grandma's... Grandma and Papa John and it's cute cute cute!

Enjoy and I'll update you all later!

The past down bikini...

This itty bitty bikini has been passed down many a generation... ok maybe 3. All the girls starting from Mike's mother, to his sisters have worn this bikini. I guess it was Anna's turn and oh boy was it cute. This is not the best picture, I am waiting for all the ones from his mother... but I wanted to share in the cuteness of Anna and all her MANY rolls!
This girl rocks the bikini, you should see her behind! :)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Getting ready for Halloween!

1 year later!

Her birth!!!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

My baby is one!

So I changed the date to read the 7th so it looks as if I really posted on her birthday. Why did I just put this then? Well if you read my blog on a regular basis then you've noticed I've been MIA... Well can't a girl be busy? It's been a crazy couple of days. I stayed off the computer pretty much the whole day of Ms. Annalise's birthday... I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could.

She had a horrible crabby day and has been having horrible crabby days for well a while now. I don't know what is going on with her... but all is good in the hood. We love her anyway!

Now on to my birthday girl! What a year it has been, a lot of ups and a lot of downs. She is the most amazing little thing that has come into our family. She has added so much drama and so many laughs. To watch her and Jared start to become good friends, totally blows my heart up! Every single time she hears her brother her whole face lights up and she can't contain her excitement so she screams. It's truly amazing that I've been blessed with 2 beautiful children. I could never imagine how much Annalise would change me, but she truly has. I don't know of a single moment where I look at her and I don't thank my lucky stars for her, or for Jared.

I always think I'm going to be so emotional on these events but I'm not emotional just really really reflective. You know when you watch tv and the characters sometimes go into their thoughts on events in their life... you actually get to see those memories. Well that's what I do. I've caught myself on several occasions the past couple of days reflecting on so many things. I'll be rocking Annalise to sleep and realize that I've replayed her whole birth. I love love love it! I wish everyone (not always) could see what I'm thinking and just feel the love and warmth that goes through me.

I could never imagine though what a change it would be to add another child into the mix. And I never thought how completely different this child could be. Annalise is going to be the one that gives me the gray hair, she stresses me out so much because she is her own person. No one or nothing will stop what she has planned. And oh my gosh is she emotional. Is this payback for all my CRAZY emotions? But with all her attitude, crying and pure joy I would NOT change it for one single moment... I love you Ms. Annalise and Happy 1st Birthday! (pictures added next post)

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Cute evening!

I thought I'd post some cute pics of the kids from the other night. They were watching tv and look at Anna, isn't that so cute. My kids are truly amazing, and not because they are watching tv... just because they are!

My husband is in the mob!

These flowers are beautiful. And do you know who I got them from? Mike's boss at his new job. Yeah I think he works for the mob, who does that? The pictures don't exactly do them justice, but they are so pretty and it was such a shock! I think that my husband really lucked out in the department of his job, I think he's going big and going places. I am so very proud of him!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Some long awaited photo's!

Here are some cute photo's from the last sunny/hot day for this year... It is now October, can you believe that? Obviously the next big thing coming up for us in October is Annalise's 1st birthday. I will be posting her birth story 1 year later! Every single time the thought of her turning 1 comes to mind, I have to hold back the tears. That girl has changed my world in so many ways... Enjoy these pics, I love them dearly. I love the sun, but I enjoy fall and all it's colors and smells!

28th Birthday part 2

So the 2nd part of my birthday was spent up north. The first part of the weekend was spent with my mother and Dennis. We got to my mom's house around 11 am and we relaxed a bit after the drive. Jared got to play Donkey Kong... Anna got to spread her legs and walk around. I think about 1 we finally left the house. We stopped for a quick bite of lunch and off we went to the mall. I really wanted to go shopping and my mom said I could do whatever I wanted for my birthday. So we went to Old Navy... and shopping we did. They were having this AWESOME sale and my mom and I went crazy. The crazy thing about it though was even after the good sale they were also having an additional percentage off, so we (I mean my mom) didn't have to spend that much.

The only annoying thing about shopping is when we bring the kids. We always say we aren't going to do it again, and this time proved why. Jared was a pain (he HATES shopping unless we shop for him...) and Anna did NOT want to sit in the stroller. Do you guys know how heavy she is? Ok so after Old Navy we went to a few other places in the mall and got a few more things. Then to my surprise we went to another store and Dennis got me a new IPOD. My 1st IPOD either got stolen or lost when I had Annalise. I had taken it with me to the hospital and have never seen it since. So I was VERY VERY VERY excited. My mom says I'm spoiled, I think I'm just loved. So after all the shopping we went to dinner. We ate at Black Angus and the food was great! It made for a very long day for everyone and after playing a few games on the Wii, we all went to bed. We woke up Sunday had some breakfast and headed over to my dads!

PART 2 of the b-day weekend... We went to my dads and spent the day there. I love going to my dads because he makes food and lots of it. It was just a chill day, relaxing and letting Jared play with his uncle Matt. Raquel and my dad made an awesome dinner and we watched the last season of... oh my goodness I'm at a loss of what the show was. My dad and Raquel got me two gift cards and I can't wait to use them. Around 7 pm we left for home.

I had a very wonderful weekend up north and the next time I head up I will (I promise) come see you Danielle and anyone else who wants to see us. I miss everyone up north and I think about you all often! Thank you everyone who sent warm wishes and beautiful cards. I really love going to the mailbox to see who sends the cards!

NEXT UP is Anna's birthday!

28th Birthday part 1

My birthday 2008! I had a great birthday this year. First part of the day I went out with Mandy and my mother in law... we went shopping and out to lunch. When they first arrived at my house they brought in this LOVELY birthday cake... an ugly picture of me. It was very cool though and Anna loved looking at it because it had my face on it!

When we got home I walked in to a sparkling clean house. Mike and Jared spent the day cleaning. The 2nd part of the birthday day Mike and I went on a date. It was great getting to go to dinner with my husband and not have the children. We were going to go to a movie but we didn't see any that we wanted to watch, so we drove down to the mall and walked around.

I had a great day and thanks so much to Mandy, Mom in law, Mike and Jared. 28 years old, wow!!! 2 more years and I will be 30, now that's scary! (2nd blog is gonna be about my weekend birthday up north with my parents!)