tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-382005751779176282024-02-18T23:12:55.032-08:00Our Crazy Life!Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.comBlogger265125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-75328261419905138022013-12-10T09:58:00.001-08:002013-12-10T09:58:27.365-08:00Life...Post two for the day... Yup buckle up people I'm on a roll.<div><br></div><div>I've recently been diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Might I just add that this is a horrible horrible disease. I was first diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis based on the findings of my colonoscopy. Yes I'm 33 years old and have already had the insanly fun pleasure of having a colonsocopy. But the findings weren't 100% certain it was just Colitis. So then I had to endure an MRE, that was so much fun to. Officially I have been diagnosed with Crohn's disease, stricturing disease in the TI with colitis noted in left, right and transverse colon... So pretty much my intestines suck and don't work.</div><div><br></div><div>Initially it just started out small and annoying but as of recently it's gotten worse and has progressed. My doctor told me that I have an aggressive form and it's mostly located in my illeum and so right now food and I are not friends. I have had to change my views on food. Food is not about enjoying a wide variety and more on trying to get nutrition in my body. My body sorta rejects food, it's awesome. I've lost over 40 lbs in the last year. Although I've enjoyed getting my body back to prebaby weight, the whole process of getting there has utterly and truthfully sucked.</div><div><br></div><div>I've learned just recently after tending to my flu stricken daughter... That I do not get to be the tendful mother who makes her babies feel better. Why you might ask? Well soon after my daughter got better from the flu I go the flu. When your immune system is already at it's worst and part of your body is attacking itself and then you add the flu bug into the mix it makes for a bad combo. It sent me to the hospital, I litterally lost 10lbs in about a week. I am now on an aggressive steroid to try and get things under control. The risks are HUGE, I had to sign waivers, I have to go in every two weeks for blood work to make sure my kidney's and liver aren't shutting down.</div><div><br></div><div>Have I mentioned how much fun this disease is?<br><div><br></div><div>So the battle continues, and all through out this I pay a butt load (oh geez) of money for my frequent doctor visits, my prescriptions, my ER visits... It's a battle I'll have all the rest of my life. I have my good days, I have my bad. I really try and stay positive. I have so much appreciated the people who have stood by me through this, especially my amazing husband. He really does try his very best to get me to change my focus on the negative and keep me pointed in the positive. He is my rock and I hope someday I'll be able to repay him for his un faltered love and support.</div><div><br></div><div>This is my journey and I'll keep you all updated through out this fun ass disease which usually always has a pun intended joke attached... hahahahahahaaaa!</div><div><br></div></div>Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-53722614053782161212013-12-10T09:23:00.001-08:002013-12-10T09:23:48.422-08:00It's been a while...Apparently people on my facebook don't like my posts. I mean I know they aren't always positive and full of butterflies and rainbows... I do sometimes use it as an outlet, but whatever. My mother suggested I start up my blog again, cause this momma needs an outlet.<div><br></div><div>I'm not sure where I should start. I guess I'll start with the thing I struggle with the most. People and their priorities. Especially when it comes to children. I'm trying to think of a witty quote, they play out in my head all the time... but today I asked for a filter and today I apparently got one.</div><div><br></div><div>I have witnessed on almost a daily basis the amount children suffer when parents don't make their children a priority. The thing I don't understand is you had a choice to have children. I mean I understand that they might not have been planned, Jared was not planned. But when these creatures, these children enter this world, HOW ARE YOU NOT COMPLETLY CHANGED BY THEM? I feel like I'm the exception to the rule sometimes, and not all people are this way. But all to often I see people bitch and complain about the things they have to give up for their children, the inconvience of their children, the struggles, the list is long. I see the parents who choose work over their children, parties over their children. Believe me I know all to well needing to take a break from your kids, sometimes parents need a time out. But I'm starting to think that as of lately kids are just an acceserory to this sorta "status" you are required to have. But the people who pay the price for these selfish ass people are the kids.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm not perfect and I do not pretend to be. But the minuet my son was born my world was forever rocked. My priorities completly changed, my outlook on life forever changed it's focus. I have had the insane opportunity to stay home with my children from the beginning. We've made sacficies for this to happen but I wouldn't change one second of this for any amount of money in the world. To be able to be present in my childrens lives, to be able to be involved in almost every aspect of their lives has been one of the most amazing gifts I've been given in my entire life.</div><div><br></div><div>I have to admit that it is also amazing having the kind of husband that I do. He has the same view on raising our children. He is 100% invested in our children. He would much rather spend his day off with both of his children. He makes them both a priority and will plan individual "dates" with both so he can have one on one time with them. We decided when we got married a year after Jared was born (we did things a little backwards) that instead of a honeymoon we would have a familymoon... Yes our son went on our "honeymoon" with us. We are dedicated to our children, we love our children, our children make us better people.</div><div><br></div><div>It goes without saying that we as parents do need time away. We do make it a priority to take time to be alone together. We will go out on dates from time to time and we may stay up late watching our favorite show together... we do plan one trip a year for a weekend getaway just the two of us. But together as a family is where we enjoy and love to be.</div><div><br></div><div>I can't change people and I cannot adopt all the kids in the world who were given shitty parents. I don't know how to change peoples veiws or how to not let it frustrate me... I guess I can just keep on trucking, loving on my children like there is no tomorrow... <b>You are not promised tomorrow, what if tomorrow never came?</b></div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-16501515823749497752011-07-12T10:36:00.000-07:002011-07-12T10:44:40.385-07:00July is a crazy busy month!<div align="left">I haven't gotten any new cloths since this whole thing started. I get so frustrated because I love shopping... but I lie because our family went on a mini vacation back to the place where Mike and I met, the place where Jared was born- Spokane!!! When we were there we got a couple of shirts and yes they were all made in the U.S.A... I'm proud of that, so super proud of that!</div><br />A lot of things have happened this month and are going to be happening this month. On July 13<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">th</span> it will be Mike and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">I's</span> 10 year anniversary of our first date. Can you believe that? I can't, seriously where has the time gone? Our first date I can still remember everything that happened that day. I remember what I wore, what we did. It's amazing to me that was the first day of forever.<br /><br />July 14<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">th</span> will be Jared's 9<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">th</span> birthday. My son is going to be 9 years old, that in itself is throwing me through a loop. Honestly I cannot believe how fast these 9 years have gone with my son. It is amazing and it is sad. He is the most handsome boy I've ever met. He is sweet, he is gentle. He has the biggest most amazing heart of anyone and I've never been prouder of my boy! But I must say time really needs to slow down a bit. It's hard for me to catch up to all that's going on, but then I wouldn't change it for a minuet. Weird how that works out huh?<br /><br />I hope that <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">every one's</span> July has been wonderful, more updates to come!Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-73262820629522129852011-06-28T11:31:00.000-07:002011-06-28T11:49:11.805-07:00What an adventure.So this is hard I must admit. I've wanted to call it quits and just run to my favorite stores and by a new shirt or something... but there is just something about it that doesn't allow me to. Maybe it's my annoying husband. But honestly this is so much harder than I thought. Let me give you an example. (FYI I did link to the web pages)<br /><br />Cloths- they are almost impossible to find made in the U.S.A... jeans especially. We decided one day to take an adventure. We found a few stores that carried some items that may or may not have things made in the U.S... so away we went to the Tacoma Mall. Our first stop was <a href="http://www.buckle.com/?cm_remove=&cm_mmc=MSN-_-Buckle_General-_-buckle-_-e_310168005%7C-%7C180533423&cm_guid=4-_-180533423-_-310168005-_-e"><span style="color:#ff0000;">Buckle</span></a> . Mike did some research and found that they do carry some brands that are made here. But what we found is that the Jeans you can only get online but they do have some shirts that are cute but a little pricey... Does price matter when there is a reason behind your madness? Our next stop was <a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/"><span style="color:#cc0000;">Nordstroms</span></a> . We found a few more items that were made here however one pair of jeans were almost $400 (YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?)... Mike found a pair of <a href="http://www.7forallmankind.com/?keyword={keyword}"><span style="color:#cc0000;">7 For All Man Kind</span></a> on clearance and he got a pair. However he did not read the whole tag and the fabric was imported from Mexico and assembled in U.S.A (close enough). He didn't realize it until after and we had a discussion that this would be ok because we are finding more and more that jeans are almost none existent here. I however found some <a href="http://www.hudsonjeans.com/"><span style="color:#cc0000;">Hudson Jeans</span></a> . But I plan on losing some weight before I buy some of these jeans!<br /><br />So it's a very slow and long process in finding things (especially cloths) made here in the U.S.A.. But we are determined to do this; to pass this onto our children; to pass this onto others so that maybe just maybe we can make a small difference in the bigger picture of things.Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-85109948217035287812011-06-17T12:10:00.000-07:002011-06-17T12:15:43.878-07:00So ya umm...I'm so bad at blogging lately. So much going on and so much keeping me from being able to focus on a blog.<br /><br />Garage sale UPDATE. We had it and we survived! We made some money, we made off pretty good. The hard part has been trying to find things to replace it with. Plus I still have a garage full of stuff I need to get rid of. Some big things I have to try to sell but the rest I'm just gonna take to the goodwill. We have noticed that will all this stuff gone we don't really miss it, that's good!<br /><br />My husband is amazing when it comes to research and we've found some places we can get furniture. If ever we aren't sure he'll email the company and find out. We will probably utilize EBay to get a lot of our cloths (cloths is becoming almost impossible to find made in the U.S.A). This really has been an adventure and it's going to continue to be one. I find myself more and more frustrated as I turn the tag over and find where it is NOT made. But I'm gonna keep faith and hopefully help you all in this adventure if you dare try. I do have pictures to post but as of right now I have not downloaded them to my computer (super fail)...<br /><br />Any questions out there???Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-32813880170742318972011-06-10T10:57:00.000-07:002011-06-10T11:13:28.660-07:001 more day until...So tomorrow is the day we try to sell all our non American made products. I'll admit that I've had a hard time deciding what to get rid of because I find myself oddly attached to them. (Oh that one fits so perfectly on the wall, that I got on clearance when we first bought our house.) Oh Oh OH... but Mike will remind me and I've reminded myself that these are just items they are not what makes our house a home. We are doing this for a reason and a reason that is good, to keep jobs in the U.S.A. So as attached as I find myself I have to take a step back and remember this is for a greater good, something that I can teach my children.<br /><br />I feel good in the fact that we are going to be living lighter. I mean who really who needs a house full of stuff? My garage is FULL of stuff that honestly not being in my house doesn't make my house seem any less my house, just less cluttered. So the things I try to find and fill my house with I will love and I'll be proud that I kept one more person employed here in the good ole U.S.A. I'm gonna try and take a ton of pictures tomorrow of our adventure and I'll post how it all worked out and then show you what we replaced it with. We also have a few more things in the works as far as educating others in this adventure. I appreciate all my readers and hope that we can show you how all this can be done. Please if there are any questions post away and I'll answer them the best I can. Thank you!!!Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-86595905158891679222011-06-06T15:00:00.000-07:002011-06-07T09:46:29.865-07:00American made...So I think that my blog is going to be changing. I think I'm going to document our families adventure of changing our lives and changing our life style. We are on a mission to buy only American made products. I'm going to try and use this blog as a way to help educate others and show you that it to can be done.<br /><br />So if that didn't explain what we are doing... My husband has been doing research and getting very passionate about buying only products that are made in the U.S.A... I wasn't completely on board. To be honest after looking at all the labels in my house I was discouraged. Almost everything was made from a completely different country then the place where I live right now. My views on the way I live have been evolving over the past year and this is a huge one for all of us. I've lived in the shadows of not knowing and honestly not caring, it never has effected me. But being naive to what is going on only hurts my children and their future.<br /><br />I watched a documentary of sorts with Mike and I'll link it later once I figure out where it is and what it was. But it said something in the lines of "If everyone spent $66 a YEAR that would keep some 200,000 Americans employed!" Umm what??? That's a lot for such a small amount of money. And wouldn't you rather keep our economy growing then depleting?<br /><br />I'm aware that this adventure is going to be hard but to start it off we have decided we are going to sell all the items in our house that are not American made (almost) and replace it with American made. We might not be able to replace everything but then we'll just live lighter. Because who really needs all this stuff anyway? Garage Sale next weekend and we've cleaned out a bunch of stuff in our home. Yesterday we went out around our town and even traveled to a smaller town about 25 miles out and did a little research. In this one store we found maybe 5 or 6 things that were American made. We also stumbled upon a furniture store that did have some items that were American Made and even Locally made (score)... On top of that we also went to some Antique stores.<br /><br />I hope you follow along on this adventure and I will start posting on the places we've been to, what we've found. Hopefully I can help you along in your adventure to change your life style...Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-86713524822449266822011-03-05T19:25:00.001-08:002011-03-05T19:49:40.387-08:00Helpless and Heartbroken...I watched a documentary today... I've been watching them a lot. This one was called 'The Devil Came on Horseback'... This was about what is going on in Darfur.<br /><br />I don't know why (well I do know why) I hide myself away so much from what is going on in the world. But I do know why... Things effect me very very very much. I get crazy scared feelings of bad things happening, it cripples me and I'm scared for me and my family. So I tend to take steps away from the news and the things that go on to protect my thoughts and to "protect me". I am not sure why I've gotten so into these documentaries. I've watched a lot about Iraq and the wars going on there, I've watch them on our Government, I've watched them about the food we eat. And can I just say right now that...<br /><br /><strong>WE LIVE IN A VERY F'D UP WORLD!</strong> I am so sick to my stomach from the things I've been learning and the things I've seen and I am scared to my core about where this is all heading. Maybe I need to reassess where I am at in my life, maybe the things I learned in church needs to be back into my current life now. I remember when I was a junior in high school I went on a mission trip to Mexico and dug poop ditches for the people in this small town and helped build a youth church... and I played games with the little kids in Mexico. I saw a part of the world I hadn't and I was a part of it for such a small time, but those images and those people still are in my thoughts on a constant basis.<br /><br />Watching the one on Darfur reminds me of the things I learned in school and a report I did on Rwanda... I wish I had the right words to describe the movie, or to describe my thoughts now. But I pray with all my soul and all my heart and all my being that my son and daughter do not ever have to see or deal with any of this... I know they will but I wish this world could offer more than these horrid images and these horrid things in this life.<br /><br />It makes me thankful for ALL the things I have in my life and all the things I take for granted. It makes me thank my ever loving lucky stars that I can (for the most part) be free and safe and warm and not hungry! Yes I have struggles and a lot of us do... but really in comparison to what the people in Darfur are going through, the people in Iraq... the people EVERY WHERE. My heart is so broken for the families that get killed and the innocent children that get killed, burned, shot, beaten, raped. I mean seriously babies, children... women, men. The sicker thought on this is that it's another human that is doing this to these people, AND FOR WHAT- <span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>WHAT?</strong> </span>The color of their skin, their religion... SERIOUSLY WHAT? I wish with all I have that me one person could do enough in this world to rid some of this stuff, I wish I could do something... I feel I have to do something, I need to do something. But watching these documentaries I get angry because I have no idea how to do anything, I don't know where to begin... and I'm angry that people even let this continue. I have often caught myself saying- "Why is it the USA's responsibility to help!" Why can't they just figure it out themselves, why do we have to send our troops our loved ones to help such a messed up place?... But I take it back, if we can we should because babies are dying... little kids, moms and dads. It's not just the 'bad' people that are getting taken out, it's not just the bad versus the good, the president versus the military (whatever)... it's INNOCENT people trying to live their lives like you and I...<br /><br />I am at such a loss with this, I feel like this blog is going no where... but I am so broken and hurt at this moment that I wish wish wish I could do something. For now I'll go cry and pray for those babies, those babies that could be our babies... those children that want nothing more in this world than to grow up and live the life they deserve... because EVERYONE DESERVES TO LIVE THE LIFE THEY WERE MEANT TO LIVE!!!<br /><span style="font-size:180%;"></span>Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-46446138648881407392011-02-23T10:54:00.000-08:002011-02-23T10:57:02.441-08:00Interesting...I just noticed on blogger that it tracks how many people view my blog and where abouts... most people are from America... but some are from Denmark, and a few other places. Here's what I would like to know. If so many people are reading my blog, why not leave a comment or two? I'd love to hear from my readers and I'd love input.<br /><br />I thank you all for reading hopefully it's worth the read!Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-87112867457038256812011-02-10T09:44:00.000-08:002011-02-10T09:56:18.461-08:00Learning...I don't know why but I've been watching a lot of documentaries lately. Mike had me watch one the other night called- Capitalism- A love story. After watching said show I came to the conclusion that I am very naive when it comes to the Government and the things that go on in our world. There are several reasons for this. One I didn't think it really mattered, that whatever was happening wouldn't effect me. Second when I did learn these things or saw things like Hurricane Katrina etc... I go into a panic and I totally freak out and think the worse things possible. Sometimes I've thought that having kids was a mistake because they have the possibility of going through something as horrific as some of the other children in this world.<br /><br />Don't judge me for taking this way of thinking. I really don't know any other way. It's hard not to turn the other way when I honestly feel like there isn't a lot me myself and I can do to change any of this. I'm only one person and if I got a few people on board there would be maybe 10 people. 10 people can't make the sort of changes that need to happen in America. But I've NEVER voted and for that I'm ashamed. But again my one vote really would it change anything? Some of you think yes, some of you think no and me well I don't know. I've been watching things and learning things and I've been wishing that things weren't so messed up in this world. It is insane the things that happen behind closed doors in the government. I honestly recommend ANYONE that reads my blog (is there anyone out there that actually reads my blogs? Hey Jo thanks for reading!) to watch Capitalism- A love story.<br /><br />I've also watched a few documentaries on the war we have going on in Iraq... I just wanted to take this second to thank every single one of you who have fought, who are fighting and who have died fighting for our country... for me, for my children. Whether the war is right, whether it is wrong you are there you are fighting and for you I am FOREVER thankful!!!<br /><br />So I've begun thinking... What can I do for America, for our people... what can you do?Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-1502828650944255202011-02-03T17:48:00.000-08:002011-02-03T17:50:37.702-08:00Valentines day...My son does not get to celebrate Valentines day at school... they have changed it to "Friendship Day"...<br /><br />My only point with this is ARE YOU SERIOUS? What would be the reason for that change. It's not a religious holiday...<br /><br />So tell me did your schools change Valentines day for you guys?<br /><br />I honestly think it's nuts and I don't get it and I don't like it.!Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-30346901183277559002010-12-28T15:49:00.000-08:002010-12-28T15:59:21.583-08:00Dec.26th, 20055 years ago to the date above I lost a child. It had to have been one of the more difficult things for me to go through... it has changed me forever, and it has opened my eyes to how often it happens to women.<br /><br />I would NEVER ever wish that feeling of loss on anyone. It is a feeling you cannot describe and it's a feeling you go through almost alone. I had no idea then how many people I would watch go through such a loss but at least I've been able to reach out and let them know they are not alone. Because when I was going through it I felt alone.<br /><br />I remember laying on my floor in our tv room just laying there watching the tv... I wasn't watching, I was just laying there being there but I wasn't there. I was empty and lost and so upset and could never imagine why God would allow for me to feel that pain. I still don't understand it. My doctor called me later that week to check up on me and he told me that it was nothing that I did, it was my bodies way of helping because it was more than likely something wrong with the baby. But still that did not ease my pain. I remember I was mad at the world, I was mad at everyone. I lashed out at people who were having babies, lashed out when I should have been there for those people. But how could I be happy for something I wanted so badly?<br /><br />I often catch myself from time to time going back to that day and remembering every feeling and every emotions. I remember sitting at the top of the stairs in Mike's arms crying and sobbing and he tried so hard to comfort me but there was nothing he could do. It took us over a year to conceive again and I was so terrified that I would lose that baby to. Luckily though Annalise was born healthy and a bundle of joy! :) So everyday with my children I am thankful that I was given the opportunity to be their mother and I pray someday I'll be able to meet that baby I carried for such a short period of time. It's crazy to me how much I desperately loved that baby and how desperately I wished I could have held that baby in my arms...Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-19665872510824959832010-12-25T17:42:00.000-08:002010-12-25T17:43:18.649-08:00Merry Christmas!I hope that everyone has a very wonderful and Merry Christmas!!!Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-71962225481568068592010-12-18T16:46:00.000-08:002010-12-18T16:49:15.185-08:00Over it...I totally told Mike today that I do not want ANYTHING for Christmas... And he thinks that's wrong I should have to open something. But truthfully with out any drama or attention involved I really don't want anything.<br /><br />I'm sorta over the Christmas thing. I don't know what it was but something just totally knocked the wind out of it for me. It's lost the warm and fuzzy feeling I've always remembered and is far to focused on gifts. All I want to do is watch my children open their gifts and see their joy and excitement... but I do not want anything and I do not need anything. SERIOUS!<br /><br />I'd rather not buy anyone any gifts, I'd rather it be more meaningful. I'm working on a few HANDMADE gifts... I hope I get the feeling of Christmas back...Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-88400142399721586612010-11-26T11:02:00.001-08:002010-11-26T11:04:28.819-08:00Here's a thought...How did we go from "Thanksgiving"... spending time with all the ones we love and being thankful for family and togetherness... to "Black Friday" which I feel is full of greed and the complete opposite of being Thankful... It's crazy how fast it changes from one day to the next.<br /><br />I knew there was a reason I didn't go spend all my money on Black Friday... instead I continue the being Thankful part and spend it with the people who are most important to me, 'My family'!<br /><br />Just a thought, but where has the 'meaning' of Christmas gone?Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-45509105088770418952010-10-26T07:51:00.000-07:002010-10-26T08:05:56.887-07:00Depression revelation...So as I've mentioned before... I have struggled with depression (have I mentioned that?) Well just recently my prescription ran out and my doctor would not refill it until I came to see him and have a check up. For one reason or another I do not have millions of dollars (ok $50) to go get a check up. So I just stopped taking my pills. That's not a good idea since I've been on those pills close to a year and they have to lower your doses instead of dropping cold turkey! (I sound like I have a drug problem).<br /><br />Well withdrawals haven't been bad and I've been off of them two weeks or more. And to be completely honest here since I'm putting it all out there... I'M HAPPY! I have had moments of just feeling good and feeling happy and not having my bouts of depression and crying. Maybe it was the damn pills. Now I don't necessarily believe that because I have struggled with depression for a long time. But maybe just maybe I'm finally at a good place with myself. Of course I'm gonna have issues and I'm gonna have times where it rears it's ugly head. But I think I've faced enough in my life to know how to handle and address it as best as I can.<br /><br />I'm happy (can you believe it) about this revelation... I'm glad I'm able to move on from this chapter. It may come to a point in my life where I'll need to take them again, but at least I know that it's not something I need all the time to keep my 'happy', I am happy! or more so I'm content with myself and that has been a hard one for me to wrestle with.Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-25262721104104491852010-10-19T14:19:00.000-07:002010-10-26T08:48:11.534-07:00Prayers, love, life...So I have read yet another blog about a child who is very very very ill. Go to this <a href="http://thematthewsstory.com/"><span style="color:#993300;"><em>PAGE</em></span></a> and read all about it. Reading things like this make me feel horrible, especially after a two day spout with my 3 year old. But after reading what this family is going through it takes me back and puts me in check. How can I get so frustrated with my child and get angry and need a time out from my kids when someone else is barely going to have anytime with their children.<br /><br />Taking things into perspective and loving on my children a little more than usual. You never know when something like this can happen to those you love so dearly!<br /><br />Take a time out to love on the ones you love, I know I will!Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-25866099084838209132010-09-27T09:08:00.001-07:002010-09-27T09:13:04.200-07:0030I am now officially 30 years old... I dreaded the day but it didn't turn out to bad. You know minus a few extended family drama's but nothing Mike and I can't handle. But in all it was a great day. Jared had another game (which they lost terribly). Then Mike, the kids and I went to garage sales. After that we took the kiddo's to the Sis in Laws (Thanks Mandy so much) and she watched the kids while Mike and I went to dinner. We don't get away from the kids often enough... but when we do it's so nice and so peaceful. It was a great dinner and I even had a beer. I don't drink so I was pretty much buzzin when we left!<br /><br />So I had a great birthday and I spent it with my family. So here's to a new chapter in my life, here's to happier days and making the best of what I have... and to be honest I have a lot of great things and people in my life... I have so much to be THANKFUL FOR!!!Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-51545979837460156892010-09-23T15:53:00.000-07:002010-09-23T15:58:42.683-07:00Oh the joy...It's been a crazy couple of weeks. Jared and football, me and work and well me and my birthday!<br /><br />The cool thing though is I got to get my present early. I picked a Kindle... I love my kindle, now I just have to find good books to fill it with. You have any idea's please share with this old lady...<br /><br />And by old I mean 30. I seriously cannot believe that I am going to be 30 on Saturday. I'm sorta in denial about the whole thing. I know that age is just a number, but come on when you are in your teens and twenties 30 is a big deal. I'm a serious grown-up that does not feel like a grown-up one bit. I have all the things a grown-up should want. House, car, kids, dog... blackberry (oh my gosh)... but seriously I still feel 12. How is that possible?<br /><br />Well not much else to say so there you have it probably the last post I'll ever write in my twenties again! Hope you all are well...Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-42688309590812225522010-09-10T07:51:00.000-07:002010-09-10T08:03:39.919-07:003rd grade and Football!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0_aRq-ViZ4Kx1pnb_SfAUThD2oZdDFqzuXGAvdBNeVSXhYq5T3mRHwIxackeBOJYj8Bvd4m0H_zN2OLxX9qHLXzIDA7N2cQNjwmsd4OUzIDX2u_5Ug11Me7cAaBXDDZ2aFTE9AO5W6g/s1600/3rdgrade.JPG"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5515297827630051874" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0_aRq-ViZ4Kx1pnb_SfAUThD2oZdDFqzuXGAvdBNeVSXhYq5T3mRHwIxackeBOJYj8Bvd4m0H_zN2OLxX9qHLXzIDA7N2cQNjwmsd4OUzIDX2u_5Ug11Me7cAaBXDDZ2aFTE9AO5W6g/s320/3rdgrade.JPG" /></a><br /><div>So above is my 3rd grader. This is the only picture he would let me take and I'm not pleased with this one as it is! He does NOT like me taking his picture and he hardly even let me walk him to school. I swear I am not one of those moms, I just like to go with my kid on the first day of school. I have since he was in Kindergarten... but this year it made him very angry with me!</div><div></div><div>Anyway my little boy isn't so little anymore... </div><div></div><div>He is a very very busy guy! He started 3rd grade and then we threw him into football last minuet. Although he doesn't know much about it he's starting to like it and yesterday I was able to go to one of his practices. I watched my little baby boy get tackled and you know what? I CRIED! I did and I quickly wiped my tears so my son and my husband did not see because they would not understand. But he (Jared) is my first born the reason I am a mother. And to watch someone take my son down to the ground with all his force hurt me probably more than it hurt him, but either way my job is to protect my son not allow others to kick his butt. Jared is a bit skittish about tackling other's but I told him last night he has full permission from me to just tackle someone straight to the ground- "KICK THERE ASS JARED! But once they are down it's done walk away!" He laughed at me!!!</div><div></div><div></div><div>So we are in for a busy year, which I'm enjoying already except getting up earlier sucks! I sorta liked being able to sleep in, it's been a long time since I can say that happened. So I'll try and get some pictures up of my football player, his first game is this Saturday. I am proud of the little man he is becoming as much as I'd like for him to stay little I am very proud of who he is!</div>Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-1582473194703527482010-09-09T08:42:00.001-07:002011-06-07T09:50:35.479-07:00Happy Happy Joy Joy...<span style="font-size:130%;color:#009900;"><strong><em>"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections." -Unknown</em></strong></span><br /><strong><em><span style="font-size:130%;color:#009900;"></span></em></strong><br /><span style="color:#000000;">So I published my last blog and realized that I'm starting to get stuck in the negativity... the negativity is what feeds my depression and feeds the hostility in this situation. So I need to get back into the mindset that THIS TO SHALL PASS and this is not going to effect me... I'm turning my frown upside down and walking past the shit with my nose held high no matter how bad it stinks!</span><br /><br />I will smile even if its hard. I will speak with love and respect, even if it's not returned. I will keep my head held high no matter how hard people try to take me down. I will come home to the people who matter the most to me and leave the shitty world at my door to deal with another day!Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-55574901477697528082010-09-09T07:56:00.000-07:002010-09-09T08:22:26.960-07:00Change...<span style="font-size:130%;color:#993399;"><em><strong>Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are. -Bertold Brecht</strong></em></span><br /><strong><em><span style="font-size:130%;color:#993399;"></span></em></strong><br />I wish people could except change. I wish that a situation I'm in right now wasn't taking up so much of my thought process and effecting me so much when it's barely a huge part of my day. But when you HAVE to surround yourself with such immaturity and such unwillingness to except things like change... it effects me on such a deep level... and it HONESTLY pisses me off!<br /><br />I've NEVER known life to stay the same and I've always learned that you go with the punches and you go with the flow. I've always excepted change (maybe not liked it, but what can you do?), it's a way of life... isn't it? Life isn't easy, I've learned that all to well... but I've managed to get through it and I'm not even half way through it! But I feel like I have a better understanding of life and changing than someone I have to surround myself with... it has got to be one of the most frustrating and annoying things ever.<br /><br />How do you just continue through your day and not let immature people effect you? How do you do what you do and not let people try to break you and take you down? Why does such petty and immature things effect me so much?Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-11283069485410445592010-08-31T14:33:00.000-07:002010-08-31T14:47:15.871-07:00On a kick about Maturity, enjoy!<span style="font-size:130%;"><em><strong>"Maturity is the ability to think, speak, and act your feelings within the bounds of dignity. The measure of your maturity is how spiritual you become during the midst of your frustrations! --Samuel Ullman</strong></em></span><br /><strong><em><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></em></strong><br />So I'm dealing with some things in my life that are very IMMATURE. I had no idea (or maybe I did) that people sometimes never really grow up. I'm not even talking the kid at heart, the ones who enjoy there lives. I deal with many different types of people every single day and I can honestly say that I can deal with them like anything else, with a grain of salt and for what it is. Who knew that actually being human could be so hard, or acting your age could be so difficult. The one thing this lesson has taught me is how people perceive you and your actions. I am a very emotional person. My tear ducts are directly connected to every single emotion I ever get. I am easily angered... but more than that I love people usually for who they are until they turn into complete jackasses and then GOOD BYE!!!<br /><br />I usually take life as it comes but a lot of the time life takes me down full force. I think someone was brought into my life to show me the EXTREMES of my weaknesses... And boy am I so over it and so working on the things that I struggle with, because this is absolutely the most immature thing I've ever had to be involved with. I've actually learned to smile when things get tough, laugh it off and NOT TAKE IT SO DAMN PERSONAL! In this craziness I've turned to quotes that help me put it all into perspective (read above quote)... Here are a few more.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong><em>"The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not BLAME them on your mother, the ecology, or the President. You realize that you control your own destiny!" --Albert Ellis</em></strong></span><br /><br />And one more for the day...<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><em><strong>"The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." --Carlos Castaneda</strong></em></span><br /><br />It's funny how one completely annoying thing can actually bring light to your own struggles and in a sense or in my situation make you more mature than someone who is wel my ELDER! :)Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-41645182986999285022010-08-19T08:25:00.000-07:002010-08-19T17:46:49.112-07:00The Last Song...I watched <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Song_(film)"><span style="color:#000099;">The Last Song</span></a> last night... I've wanted to see this movie since I read the book. The book seriously brought me to tears and I cried, more like sobbed the last half of the book.<br /><br />This however is a good example of the difference between a really GREAT book and a good movie that is <strong>NOTHING</strong> like the book. It disappoints me every single time but I made a promise to myself that I would always read the book before I watched the movie. I had expected more out of this movie, not because of the actress but because of the book itself. It had a lot more behind it than just a 'romance'... it touched me pretty deeply. The movie barely touched it. It was good but doesn't even compare to the book.<br /><br />So I love the book and like the movie and totally dislike Miley Cyrus's acting!!! If you've seen the movie or read the book I'd like to hear your input, comments open I'd love to hear what you thought!!!Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38200575177917628.post-82219748319231512082010-08-17T10:27:00.001-07:002010-08-17T10:35:25.813-07:00One after......another in the blog world. First a brand new baby passes on and now a 25 yr old has cancer. She has 2 babies for goodness sake. It just breaks my heart.<br /><br />I get so overwhelmed when I read about others going through such horrible things. My heart totally breaks for these people, these people I don't even know. Then like today when I was reading of this 25 year old wife and mother who just found out she has cancer I stop with my eyes filled with tears and try and look at my life for a minuet.<br /><br />What in the hell would my family do without me, and I seriously cannot imagine my life without them. Would they really know how much I truly love them and how much they truly changed my life? Would they know that I could not imagine my life without them? Would they know that even though mommy has her crazy moments she wouldn't change those crazy moments for no moments at all without them?<br /><br />Sometimes I truly question why people have to go through all this pain and loss. And I truly pray with all my being that I do not have to suffer through such a loss. I know at some point in my life something will happen and I'll have to endure it, but PLEASE not anytime soon. I just need to totally 100% turn my life only to my family and my children and to me and live like tomorrow would not be here. Live so we have memories and happiness and not frustration and fear... but it's so hard!<br /><br />I have to remember what's really important in my life and what I really could not live without!Crazy Mom of 2!http://www.blogger.com/profile/02780075269350687030noreply@blogger.com0