Tuesday, March 16, 2010


Yesterday Mike and I were going through stuff in the garage. I came across some stuff from my 'past', my childhood, my high school years.

I had this scrapbook that I made from memories and old boyfriends... It actually made me cry. I remembered the pains and the joys I went through when I was younger. I am so thankful I don't have to go through all the dating and breaking up. But for some reason it made me sad to remember all that stuff that I went through.

I love memories and I'm glad that I kept that stuff. But it was just weird remembering them again. I read some of my old poems and they were good, but they were so dark and so sad. Was I really always that sad, maybe my depression stems way back...

Anyway, it was interesting opening that part of my past that I shut away so long ago!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Here you go...

I'm not sure where I start with this blog... this has been something in my life since I met Mike and always something I've wondered about... Let me go back a step further and I'll explain. But I'm gonna be honest that I'm not gonna say to much about the whole story of 'before' cause it's not my story to completely tell.

Mike has a dad! You might think that's funny, but really it's not. When I met Mike shortly after that I met his whole family. His mom, and his 3 sisters. But I NEVER met his dad. We would talk briefly about him but his dad "hated" all of them so it was likely that I'd never know him and Mike would never want to know him again. It's not that tragic of a story, the details I'll spare but we'll just say that Mikes dad did not take kindly to his wife getting a divorce from him and some other things that happened... but that's just the way things happened and well get over it. It didn't just start then, it probably started when Mike was 11 or 13, I can't remember to much of the details but his Dad ended up being a pretty mean guy.

I don't know why I couldn't grasp how Mike never wanted to know anymore about his dad or ever wondered how he was. I guess maybe because I really had a wonderful dad I just couldn't imagine the void of not having a dad... but I've gone 7+ years thinking often of Mikes dad and wondering of the void left in each of his kids lives since he could care less about them, or the fact that he has 4 grandkids. He often has said that he doesn't have kids to the faces of his children.

So my thoughts of this only grew stronger as soon as we moved down in the same town that his father lives. I'd always hoped to run into him or at least see him. I've never even seen him besides pictures. His other siblings see him around town all the time, when we eat at this famous breakfast place I will look out the window and look at his house where he lives, because I know where he lives and it's right across the street from the place we go to eat sometimes. I don't talk to Mike about this often, because he DOES not understand and does not care to ever see him again.

Well this brings you current and then it'll explain to you what happened to me Friday night. I really wanted to go see a movie so I invited my sis in laws. We went to dinner and then headed to the movies... our luck though it was sold out. So we needed to find something else to do because we are moms and it was a night out without kids and we needed the night out. We decided to go to the Casino and gamble... We didn't know that walking into those Casino doors would cross something off my list of things I either need to do or wanted to do.

There was his dad sitting at a table playing Keno with his girlfriend Ana. She knows one of my sis in laws from where she works and that is a whole other story. But we stopped for a second to say hello and their dad of course said nothing. We were headed to the bathroom so we scooted along. We stood there in shock about who we had just run into... and then Ana came in and told us that it would be a good idea if we stop by and talk with them on our way out... if we didn't mind.

So we talked with him briefly and so I finally met his Dad...

Where we go from here I won't know cause Mike does NOT want him in our lives... but I'll take it for what it is now and we'll see what happens in the future!!!