Saturday, April 5, 2008

I'm sad and I LOVE YOU!

So I got a call this morning from Tara... she called to let me know that one of our old friends from high school's dad died yesterday! It brought a rush of feelings I haven't had in a long time, flooding into my head. It seems like Tara is always calling telling me so and so has died. It's so sad! It's sad that it takes someone else to pass away for you to reflect on your life and take inventory of the things/people you have in yours. Have you told them you loved them today, do they know how much they mean to you? If they died would you regret something you did to them, would they know how much you truly needed them in your life?

The first thing I did was send my dad a text message telling him I love him. I tell my dad all the time, but right now he is in Florida... if something happens to him I have to let him know how much I truly care for him. I laid in bed with my daughter and just listened to her breath while she held my hand and fell asleep. I don't know what I would do if I lost anyone in my life... and then I get scared, "What would my children do without me?"

I hate death. I know someday it's going to happen to everyone, that's life. But it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I'm sad to that I haven't talked to Katie (that's who's dad passed away) in YEARS. Honestly the last time I talked or have seen Katie was shortly after one of our friends passed away and I saw her at the funeral. Now that's even sadder. When I was in high school I never believed that once you graduate you end up losing almost all your friends. I always told myself that was not true... but it was. I have only 3 close friends from high school that I still talk to on almost a daily if not weekly basis. I miss my old friends, but we've all grown up and moved on with our lives. I wish that I could be with her and her family in this time of pure sadness. I guess I will just send my thoughts and prayers out and hope that if they need anything they will call. I know they have a great support system, I just want them to know that I am here for them!

So I guess it's just given me a chance to reflect on those that are in my life and how important they all are. And if I haven't told you lately, I LOVE YOU!