Past...

Yesterday Mike and I were going through stuff in the garage. I came across some stuff from my 'past', my childhood, my high school years.

I had this scrapbook that I made from memories and old boyfriends... It actually made me cry. I remembered the pains and the joys I went through when I was younger. I am so thankful I don't have to go through all the dating and breaking up. But for some reason it made me sad to remember all that stuff that I went through.

I love memories and I'm glad that I kept that stuff. But it was just weird remembering them again. I read some of my old poems and they were good, but they were so dark and so sad. Was I really always that sad, maybe my depression stems way back...

Anyway, it was interesting opening that part of my past that I shut away so long ago!

Here you go...

I'm not sure where I start with this blog... this has been something in my life since I met Mike and always something I've wondered about... Let me go back a step further and I'll explain. But I'm gonna be honest that I'm not gonna say to much about the whole story of 'before' cause it's not my story to completely tell.

Mike has a dad! You might think that's funny, but really it's not. When I met Mike shortly after that I met his whole family. His mom, and his 3 sisters. But I NEVER met his dad. We would talk briefly about him but his dad "hated" all of them so it was likely that I'd never know him and Mike would never want to know him again. It's not that tragic of a story, the details I'll spare but we'll just say that Mikes dad did not take kindly to his wife getting a divorce from him and some other things that happened... but that's just the way things happened and well get over it. It didn't just start then, it probably started when Mike was 11 or 13, I can't remember to much of the details but his Dad ended up being a pretty mean guy.



I don't know why I couldn't grasp how Mike never wanted to know anymore about his dad or ever wondered how he was. I guess maybe because I really had a wonderful dad I just couldn't imagine the void of not having a dad... but I've gone 7+ years thinking often of Mikes dad and wondering of the void left in each of his kids lives since he could care less about them, or the fact that he has 4 grandkids. He often has said that he doesn't have kids to the faces of his children.



So my thoughts of this only grew stronger as soon as we moved down in the same town that his father lives. I'd always hoped to run into him or at least see him. I've never even seen him besides pictures. His other siblings see him around town all the time, when we eat at this famous breakfast place I will look out the window and look at his house where he lives, because I know where he lives and it's right across the street from the place we go to eat sometimes. I don't talk to Mike about this often, because he DOES not understand and does not care to ever see him again.



Well this brings you current and then it'll explain to you what happened to me Friday night. I really wanted to go see a movie so I invited my sis in laws. We went to dinner and then headed to the movies... our luck though it was sold out. So we needed to find something else to do because we are moms and it was a night out without kids and we needed the night out. We decided to go to the Casino and gamble... We didn't know that walking into those Casino doors would cross something off my list of things I either need to do or wanted to do.



There was his dad sitting at a table playing Keno with his girlfriend Ana. She knows one of my sis in laws from where she works and that is a whole other story. But we stopped for a second to say hello and their dad of course said nothing. We were headed to the bathroom so we scooted along. We stood there in shock about who we had just run into... and then Ana came in and told us that it would be a good idea if we stop by and talk with them on our way out... if we didn't mind.

So we talked with him briefly and so I finally met his Dad...

Where we go from here I won't know cause Mike does NOT want him in our lives... but I'll take it for what it is now and we'll see what happens in the future!!!

sorry!!!

So I haven't had the time to update from my last blog I am so sorry.. It is almost complete and I will post it soon!

Promise!

Interesting...

I have an interesting post that I'm going to be "posting" soon. I just wanted to give you guys a heads up!!! It's gonna be a good one!

Sitting at work...

This four hours of work thing today is dragging on!!!

Lots on my mind, lots to do at home... wishing things were easier and money grew on tree's!

The new year...

I've been wanting to post something for a while, but I've had such a block. I've been overwhelmed with not working, trying to get a job and figure out what is right to do for our family. I honestly believe with ALL my heart that I'm supposed to be home with my children, but I also know that I have to make some money for our family so we have a home to live in! :) Where is the middle ground here? My husband is unhappy with his job and he wants to make a change, but he's the one that makes the most money so if he did something drastic we would be hurting.

I just feel all the pressure to find something and do something. I had another interview at SF and I thought for sure that I got the job. However I again did not. It just pisses me off, the one and only place I would like to work at will not hire me. So I've decided I'm done trying to work there. I just wish I could figure something out that I could do at home and still make money.

ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEAS?

Other than that everything is good. The kids are great and love me being home. Jared is doing good in school, making good decisions and I'm proud of him. Annalise is getting so big and she is so smart and she amazes me everyday! Mike is almost finished with the hunting season (yeah maybe my garage won't smell like ass any longer!), but he's had a great hunting season. He will be leaving next week for training in Colorado (like last year). So it'll just be me and the kids for the week...

Other than that nothing else to really report on. I will try and keep up on this more, but I appreciate all who read this, I really do!

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year!

We had a wonderful Christmas, much different than a lot of our past Christmas'... but it was great. I have NO pictures to post since my camera had no charge, and I couldn't find the cord. GREAT!!!

As for 2009, SEE YA! You brought many great things and many annoying things. But like every other year we've managed to make it through all in tact!!! Thank you so much!

Now on to 2010... may you be a great year for our family and may only good things come our way!!!