3rd grade and Football!

So above is my 3rd grader. This is the only picture he would let me take and I'm not pleased with this one as it is! He does NOT like me taking his picture and he hardly even let me walk him to school. I swear I am not one of those moms, I just like to go with my kid on the first day of school. I have since he was in Kindergarten... but this year it made him very angry with me!

Anyway my little boy isn't so little anymore...

He is a very very busy guy! He started 3rd grade and then we threw him into football last minuet. Although he doesn't know much about it he's starting to like it and yesterday I was able to go to one of his practices. I watched my little baby boy get tackled and you know what? I CRIED! I did and I quickly wiped my tears so my son and my husband did not see because they would not understand. But he (Jared) is my first born the reason I am a mother. And to watch someone take my son down to the ground with all his force hurt me probably more than it hurt him, but either way my job is to protect my son not allow others to kick his butt. Jared is a bit skittish about tackling other's but I told him last night he has full permission from me to just tackle someone straight to the ground- "KICK THERE ASS JARED! But once they are down it's done walk away!" He laughed at me!!!

So we are in for a busy year, which I'm enjoying already except getting up earlier sucks! I sorta liked being able to sleep in, it's been a long time since I can say that happened. So I'll try and get some pictures up of my football player, his first game is this Saturday. I am proud of the little man he is becoming as much as I'd like for him to stay little I am very proud of who he is!

Happy Happy Joy Joy...

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections." -Unknown

So I published my last blog and realized that I'm starting to get stuck in the negativity... the negativity is what feeds my depression and feeds the hostility in this situation. So I need to get back into the mindset that THIS TO SHALL PASS and this is not going to effect me... I'm turning my frown upside down and walking past the shit with my nose held high no matter how bad it stinks!

I will smile even if its hard. I will speak with love and respect, even if it's not returned. I will keep my head held high no matter how hard people try to take me down. I will come home to the people who matter the most to me and leave the shitty world at my door to deal with another day!

Change...

Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are. -Bertold Brecht

I wish people could except change. I wish that a situation I'm in right now wasn't taking up so much of my thought process and effecting me so much when it's barely a huge part of my day. But when you HAVE to surround yourself with such immaturity and such unwillingness to except things like change... it effects me on such a deep level... and it HONESTLY pisses me off!

I've NEVER known life to stay the same and I've always learned that you go with the punches and you go with the flow. I've always excepted change (maybe not liked it, but what can you do?), it's a way of life... isn't it? Life isn't easy, I've learned that all to well... but I've managed to get through it and I'm not even half way through it! But I feel like I have a better understanding of life and changing than someone I have to surround myself with... it has got to be one of the most frustrating and annoying things ever.

How do you just continue through your day and not let immature people effect you? How do you do what you do and not let people try to break you and take you down? Why does such petty and immature things effect me so much?

On a kick about Maturity, enjoy!

"Maturity is the ability to think, speak, and act your feelings within the bounds of dignity. The measure of your maturity is how spiritual you become during the midst of your frustrations! --Samuel Ullman

So I'm dealing with some things in my life that are very IMMATURE. I had no idea (or maybe I did) that people sometimes never really grow up. I'm not even talking the kid at heart, the ones who enjoy there lives. I deal with many different types of people every single day and I can honestly say that I can deal with them like anything else, with a grain of salt and for what it is. Who knew that actually being human could be so hard, or acting your age could be so difficult. The one thing this lesson has taught me is how people perceive you and your actions. I am a very emotional person. My tear ducts are directly connected to every single emotion I ever get. I am easily angered... but more than that I love people usually for who they are until they turn into complete jackasses and then GOOD BYE!!!

I usually take life as it comes but a lot of the time life takes me down full force. I think someone was brought into my life to show me the EXTREMES of my weaknesses... And boy am I so over it and so working on the things that I struggle with, because this is absolutely the most immature thing I've ever had to be involved with. I've actually learned to smile when things get tough, laugh it off and NOT TAKE IT SO DAMN PERSONAL! In this craziness I've turned to quotes that help me put it all into perspective (read above quote)... Here are a few more.

"The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not BLAME them on your mother, the ecology, or the President. You realize that you control your own destiny!" --Albert Ellis

And one more for the day...

"The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." --Carlos Castaneda

It's funny how one completely annoying thing can actually bring light to your own struggles and in a sense or in my situation make you more mature than someone who is wel my ELDER! :)

The Last Song...

I watched The Last Song last night... I've wanted to see this movie since I read the book. The book seriously brought me to tears and I cried, more like sobbed the last half of the book.

This however is a good example of the difference between a really GREAT book and a good movie that is NOTHING like the book. It disappoints me every single time but I made a promise to myself that I would always read the book before I watched the movie. I had expected more out of this movie, not because of the actress but because of the book itself. It had a lot more behind it than just a 'romance'... it touched me pretty deeply. The movie barely touched it. It was good but doesn't even compare to the book.

So I love the book and like the movie and totally dislike Miley Cyrus's acting!!! If you've seen the movie or read the book I'd like to hear your input, comments open I'd love to hear what you thought!!!

One after...

...another in the blog world. First a brand new baby passes on and now a 25 yr old has cancer. She has 2 babies for goodness sake. It just breaks my heart.

I get so overwhelmed when I read about others going through such horrible things. My heart totally breaks for these people, these people I don't even know. Then like today when I was reading of this 25 year old wife and mother who just found out she has cancer I stop with my eyes filled with tears and try and look at my life for a minuet.

What in the hell would my family do without me, and I seriously cannot imagine my life without them. Would they really know how much I truly love them and how much they truly changed my life? Would they know that I could not imagine my life without them? Would they know that even though mommy has her crazy moments she wouldn't change those crazy moments for no moments at all without them?

Sometimes I truly question why people have to go through all this pain and loss. And I truly pray with all my being that I do not have to suffer through such a loss. I know at some point in my life something will happen and I'll have to endure it, but PLEASE not anytime soon. I just need to totally 100% turn my life only to my family and my children and to me and live like tomorrow would not be here. Live so we have memories and happiness and not frustration and fear... but it's so hard!

I have to remember what's really important in my life and what I really could not live without!

Can I just say...

My daughter is 2, she is going to be 3 in October. And she is potty trained. (knock on wood- cause if this jinx's it I'm gonna be pissed)... I've waited a couple of months to post this but it sorta just happened and I'm honestly not sure how. She wears undies all day and pull ups at night. I am so happy to be out of poopy diapers, you have no idea. This brings on the fact though that I will not be having anymore babies... that is sad. I really really love babies and I love my babies. I tried to convince Mike we needed to have another, but I know that 2 is enough. It is far more stressful than I ever imagined it would be... but I wouldn't trade my two for the world.

So I am officially done with diapers now I just have to get her done with the pull-ups at night. That I'm not sure of how to do. She sometimes will wake up dry but most nights she is wet. She doesn't have much to drink before bed, but it's been so hot at night I have to let her drink a little so she isn't all sweaty or dehydrated. So we'll work slowly on this one.

I just wanted to toot the horn of the potty training cause I did not training. Actually to be honest both kids were pretty easy to potty train. I must say my kiddo's are pretty freaking smart! But I don't like to brag! :)