Merry Christmas!

I hope that everyone has a very wonderful and Merry Christmas!!!

Over it...

I totally told Mike today that I do not want ANYTHING for Christmas... And he thinks that's wrong I should have to open something. But truthfully with out any drama or attention involved I really don't want anything.

I'm sorta over the Christmas thing. I don't know what it was but something just totally knocked the wind out of it for me. It's lost the warm and fuzzy feeling I've always remembered and is far to focused on gifts. All I want to do is watch my children open their gifts and see their joy and excitement... but I do not want anything and I do not need anything. SERIOUS!

I'd rather not buy anyone any gifts, I'd rather it be more meaningful. I'm working on a few HANDMADE gifts... I hope I get the feeling of Christmas back...

Here's a thought...

How did we go from "Thanksgiving"... spending time with all the ones we love and being thankful for family and togetherness... to "Black Friday" which I feel is full of greed and the complete opposite of being Thankful... It's crazy how fast it changes from one day to the next.

I knew there was a reason I didn't go spend all my money on Black Friday... instead I continue the being Thankful part and spend it with the people who are most important to me, 'My family'!

Just a thought, but where has the 'meaning' of Christmas gone?

Depression revelation...

So as I've mentioned before... I have struggled with depression (have I mentioned that?) Well just recently my prescription ran out and my doctor would not refill it until I came to see him and have a check up. For one reason or another I do not have millions of dollars (ok $50) to go get a check up. So I just stopped taking my pills. That's not a good idea since I've been on those pills close to a year and they have to lower your doses instead of dropping cold turkey! (I sound like I have a drug problem).

Well withdrawals haven't been bad and I've been off of them two weeks or more. And to be completely honest here since I'm putting it all out there... I'M HAPPY! I have had moments of just feeling good and feeling happy and not having my bouts of depression and crying. Maybe it was the damn pills. Now I don't necessarily believe that because I have struggled with depression for a long time. But maybe just maybe I'm finally at a good place with myself. Of course I'm gonna have issues and I'm gonna have times where it rears it's ugly head. But I think I've faced enough in my life to know how to handle and address it as best as I can.

I'm happy (can you believe it) about this revelation... I'm glad I'm able to move on from this chapter. It may come to a point in my life where I'll need to take them again, but at least I know that it's not something I need all the time to keep my 'happy', I am happy! or more so I'm content with myself and that has been a hard one for me to wrestle with.

Prayers, love, life...

So I have read yet another blog about a child who is very very very ill. Go to this PAGE and read all about it. Reading things like this make me feel horrible, especially after a two day spout with my 3 year old. But after reading what this family is going through it takes me back and puts me in check. How can I get so frustrated with my child and get angry and need a time out from my kids when someone else is barely going to have anytime with their children.

Taking things into perspective and loving on my children a little more than usual. You never know when something like this can happen to those you love so dearly!

Take a time out to love on the ones you love, I know I will!

30

I am now officially 30 years old... I dreaded the day but it didn't turn out to bad. You know minus a few extended family drama's but nothing Mike and I can't handle. But in all it was a great day. Jared had another game (which they lost terribly). Then Mike, the kids and I went to garage sales. After that we took the kiddo's to the Sis in Laws (Thanks Mandy so much) and she watched the kids while Mike and I went to dinner. We don't get away from the kids often enough... but when we do it's so nice and so peaceful. It was a great dinner and I even had a beer. I don't drink so I was pretty much buzzin when we left!

So I had a great birthday and I spent it with my family. So here's to a new chapter in my life, here's to happier days and making the best of what I have... and to be honest I have a lot of great things and people in my life... I have so much to be THANKFUL FOR!!!

Oh the joy...

It's been a crazy couple of weeks. Jared and football, me and work and well me and my birthday!

The cool thing though is I got to get my present early. I picked a Kindle... I love my kindle, now I just have to find good books to fill it with. You have any idea's please share with this old lady...

And by old I mean 30. I seriously cannot believe that I am going to be 30 on Saturday. I'm sorta in denial about the whole thing. I know that age is just a number, but come on when you are in your teens and twenties 30 is a big deal. I'm a serious grown-up that does not feel like a grown-up one bit. I have all the things a grown-up should want. House, car, kids, dog... blackberry (oh my gosh)... but seriously I still feel 12. How is that possible?

Well not much else to say so there you have it probably the last post I'll ever write in my twenties again! Hope you all are well...