Our Crazy Life!

July is a crazy busy month!

2011-07-12T10:36:00.000-07:00

I haven't gotten any new cloths since this whole thing started. I get so frustrated because I love shopping... but I lie because our family went on a mini vacation back to the place where Mike and I met, the place where Jared was born- Spokane!!! When we were there we got a couple of shirts and yes they were all made in the U.S.A... I'm proud of that, so super proud of that!

A lot of things have happened this month and are going to be happening this month. On July 13th it will be Mike and I's 10 year anniversary of our first date. Can you believe that? I can't, seriously where has the time gone? Our first date I can still remember everything that happened that day. I remember what I wore, what we did. It's amazing to me that was the first day of forever.

July 14th will be Jared's 9th birthday. My son is going to be 9 years old, that in itself is throwing me through a loop. Honestly I cannot believe how fast these 9 years have gone with my son. It is amazing and it is sad. He is the most handsome boy I've ever met. He is sweet, he is gentle. He has the biggest most amazing heart of anyone and I've never been prouder of my boy! But I must say time really needs to slow down a bit. It's hard for me to catch up to all that's going on, but then I wouldn't change it for a minuet. Weird how that works out huh?

I hope that every one's July has been wonderful, more updates to come!

What an adventure.

2011-06-28T11:31:00.000-07:00

So this is hard I must admit. I've wanted to call it quits and just run to my favorite stores and by a new shirt or something... but there is just something about it that doesn't allow me to. Maybe it's my annoying husband. But honestly this is so much harder than I thought. Let me give you an example. (FYI I did link to the web pages)

Cloths- they are almost impossible to find made in the U.S.A... jeans especially. We decided one day to take an adventure. We found a few stores that carried some items that may or may not have things made in the U.S... so away we went to the Tacoma Mall. Our first stop was Buckle . Mike did some research and found that they do carry some brands that are made here. But what we found is that the Jeans you can only get online but they do have some shirts that are cute but a little pricey... Does price matter when there is a reason behind your madness? Our next stop was Nordstroms . We found a few more items that were made here however one pair of jeans were almost $400 (YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?)... Mike found a pair of 7 For All Man Kind on clearance and he got a pair. However he did not read the whole tag and the fabric was imported from Mexico and assembled in U.S.A (close enough). He didn't realize it until after and we had a discussion that this would be ok because we are finding more and more that jeans are almost none existent here. I however found some Hudson Jeans . But I plan on losing some weight before I buy some of these jeans!

So it's a very slow and long process in finding things (especially cloths) made here in the U.S.A.. But we are determined to do this; to pass this onto our children; to pass this onto others so that maybe just maybe we can make a small difference in the bigger picture of things.

So ya umm...

2011-06-17T12:10:00.000-07:00

I'm so bad at blogging lately. So much going on and so much keeping me from being able to focus on a blog.

Garage sale UPDATE. We had it and we survived! We made some money, we made off pretty good. The hard part has been trying to find things to replace it with. Plus I still have a garage full of stuff I need to get rid of. Some big things I have to try to sell but the rest I'm just gonna take to the goodwill. We have noticed that will all this stuff gone we don't really miss it, that's good!

My husband is amazing when it comes to research and we've found some places we can get furniture. If ever we aren't sure he'll email the company and find out. We will probably utilize EBay to get a lot of our cloths (cloths is becoming almost impossible to find made in the U.S.A). This really has been an adventure and it's going to continue to be one. I find myself more and more frustrated as I turn the tag over and find where it is NOT made. But I'm gonna keep faith and hopefully help you all in this adventure if you dare try. I do have pictures to post but as of right now I have not downloaded them to my computer (super fail)...

Any questions out there???

1 more day until...

2011-06-10T10:57:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow is the day we try to sell all our non American made products. I'll admit that I've had a hard time deciding what to get rid of because I find myself oddly attached to them. (Oh that one fits so perfectly on the wall, that I got on clearance when we first bought our house.) Oh Oh OH... but Mike will remind me and I've reminded myself that these are just items they are not what makes our house a home. We are doing this for a reason and a reason that is good, to keep jobs in the U.S.A. So as attached as I find myself I have to take a step back and remember this is for a greater good, something that I can teach my children.

I feel good in the fact that we are going to be living lighter. I mean who really who needs a house full of stuff? My garage is FULL of stuff that honestly not being in my house doesn't make my house seem any less my house, just less cluttered. So the things I try to find and fill my house with I will love and I'll be proud that I kept one more person employed here in the good ole U.S.A. I'm gonna try and take a ton of pictures tomorrow of our adventure and I'll post how it all worked out and then show you what we replaced it with. We also have a few more things in the works as far as educating others in this adventure. I appreciate all my readers and hope that we can show you how all this can be done. Please if there are any questions post away and I'll answer them the best I can. Thank you!!!

American made...

2011-06-06T15:00:00.000-07:00

So I think that my blog is going to be changing. I think I'm going to document our families adventure of changing our lives and changing our life style. We are on a mission to buy only American made products. I'm going to try and use this blog as a way to help educate others and show you that it to can be done.

So if that didn't explain what we are doing... My husband has been doing research and getting very passionate about buying only products that are made in the U.S.A... I wasn't completely on board. To be honest after looking at all the labels in my house I was discouraged. Almost everything was made from a completely different country then the place where I live right now. My views on the way I live have been evolving over the past year and this is a huge one for all of us. I've lived in the shadows of not knowing and honestly not caring, it never has effected me. But being naive to what is going on only hurts my children and their future.

I watched a documentary of sorts with Mike and I'll link it later once I figure out where it is and what it was. But it said something in the lines of "If everyone spent $66 a YEAR that would keep some 200,000 Americans employed!" Umm what??? That's a lot for such a small amount of money. And wouldn't you rather keep our economy growing then depleting?

I'm aware that this adventure is going to be hard but to start it off we have decided we are going to sell all the items in our house that are not American made (almost) and replace it with American made. We might not be able to replace everything but then we'll just live lighter. Because who really needs all this stuff anyway? Garage Sale next weekend and we've cleaned out a bunch of stuff in our home. Yesterday we went out around our town and even traveled to a smaller town about 25 miles out and did a little research. In this one store we found maybe 5 or 6 things that were American made. We also stumbled upon a furniture store that did have some items that were American Made and even Locally made (score)... On top of that we also went to some Antique stores.

I hope you follow along on this adventure and I will start posting on the places we've been to, what we've found. Hopefully I can help you along in your adventure to change your life style...

Helpless and Heartbroken...

2011-03-05T19:25:00.001-08:00

I watched a documentary today... I've been watching them a lot. This one was called 'The Devil Came on Horseback'... This was about what is going on in Darfur.

I don't know why (well I do know why) I hide myself away so much from what is going on in the world. But I do know why... Things effect me very very very much. I get crazy scared feelings of bad things happening, it cripples me and I'm scared for me and my family. So I tend to take steps away from the news and the things that go on to protect my thoughts and to "protect me". I am not sure why I've gotten so into these documentaries. I've watched a lot about Iraq and the wars going on there, I've watch them on our Government, I've watched them about the food we eat. And can I just say right now that...

WE LIVE IN A VERY F'D UP WORLD! I am so sick to my stomach from the things I've been learning and the things I've seen and I am scared to my core about where this is all heading. Maybe I need to reassess where I am at in my life, maybe the things I learned in church needs to be back into my current life now. I remember when I was a junior in high school I went on a mission trip to Mexico and dug poop ditches for the people in this small town and helped build a youth church... and I played games with the little kids in Mexico. I saw a part of the world I hadn't and I was a part of it for such a small time, but those images and those people still are in my thoughts on a constant basis.

Watching the one on Darfur reminds me of the things I learned in school and a report I did on Rwanda... I wish I had the right words to describe the movie, or to describe my thoughts now. But I pray with all my soul and all my heart and all my being that my son and daughter do not ever have to see or deal with any of this... I know they will but I wish this world could offer more than these horrid images and these horrid things in this life.

It makes me thankful for ALL the things I have in my life and all the things I take for granted. It makes me thank my ever loving lucky stars that I can (for the most part) be free and safe and warm and not hungry! Yes I have struggles and a lot of us do... but really in comparison to what the people in Darfur are going through, the people in Iraq... the people EVERY WHERE. My heart is so broken for the families that get killed and the innocent children that get killed, burned, shot, beaten, raped. I mean seriously babies, children... women, men. The sicker thought on this is that it's another human that is doing this to these people, AND FOR WHAT- WHAT? The color of their skin, their religion... SERIOUSLY WHAT? I wish with all I have that me one person could do enough in this world to rid some of this stuff, I wish I could do something... I feel I have to do something, I need to do something. But watching these documentaries I get angry because I have no idea how to do anything, I don't know where to begin... and I'm angry that people even let this continue. I have often caught myself saying- "Why is it the USA's responsibility to help!" Why can't they just figure it out themselves, why do we have to send our troops our loved ones to help such a messed up place?... But I take it back, if we can we should because babies are dying... little kids, moms and dads. It's not just the 'bad' people that are getting taken out, it's not just the bad versus the good, the president versus the military (whatever)... it's INNOCENT people trying to live their lives like you and I...

I am at such a loss with this, I feel like this blog is going no where... but I am so broken and hurt at this moment that I wish wish wish I could do something. For now I'll go cry and pray for those babies, those babies that could be our babies... those children that want nothing more in this world than to grow up and live the life they deserve... because EVERYONE DESERVES TO LIVE THE LIFE THEY WERE MEANT TO LIVE!!!

Interesting...

2011-02-23T10:54:00.000-08:00

I just noticed on blogger that it tracks how many people view my blog and where abouts... most people are from America... but some are from Denmark, and a few other places. Here's what I would like to know. If so many people are reading my blog, why not leave a comment or two? I'd love to hear from my readers and I'd love input.

I thank you all for reading hopefully it's worth the read!

Learning...

2011-02-10T09:44:00.000-08:00

I don't know why but I've been watching a lot of documentaries lately. Mike had me watch one the other night called- Capitalism- A love story. After watching said show I came to the conclusion that I am very naive when it comes to the Government and the things that go on in our world. There are several reasons for this. One I didn't think it really mattered, that whatever was happening wouldn't effect me. Second when I did learn these things or saw things like Hurricane Katrina etc... I go into a panic and I totally freak out and think the worse things possible. Sometimes I've thought that having kids was a mistake because they have the possibility of going through something as horrific as some of the other children in this world.

Don't judge me for taking this way of thinking. I really don't know any other way. It's hard not to turn the other way when I honestly feel like there isn't a lot me myself and I can do to change any of this. I'm only one person and if I got a few people on board there would be maybe 10 people. 10 people can't make the sort of changes that need to happen in America. But I've NEVER voted and for that I'm ashamed. But again my one vote really would it change anything? Some of you think yes, some of you think no and me well I don't know. I've been watching things and learning things and I've been wishing that things weren't so messed up in this world. It is insane the things that happen behind closed doors in the government. I honestly recommend ANYONE that reads my blog (is there anyone out there that actually reads my blogs? Hey Jo thanks for reading!) to watch Capitalism- A love story.

I've also watched a few documentaries on the war we have going on in Iraq... I just wanted to take this second to thank every single one of you who have fought, who are fighting and who have died fighting for our country... for me, for my children. Whether the war is right, whether it is wrong you are there you are fighting and for you I am FOREVER thankful!!!

So I've begun thinking... What can I do for America, for our people... what can you do?

Valentines day...

2011-02-03T17:48:00.000-08:00

My son does not get to celebrate Valentines day at school... they have changed it to "Friendship Day"...

My only point with this is ARE YOU SERIOUS? What would be the reason for that change. It's not a religious holiday...

So tell me did your schools change Valentines day for you guys?

I honestly think it's nuts and I don't get it and I don't like it.!

Dec.26th, 2005

2010-12-28T15:49:00.000-08:00

5 years ago to the date above I lost a child. It had to have been one of the more difficult things for me to go through... it has changed me forever, and it has opened my eyes to how often it happens to women.

I would NEVER ever wish that feeling of loss on anyone. It is a feeling you cannot describe and it's a feeling you go through almost alone. I had no idea then how many people I would watch go through such a loss but at least I've been able to reach out and let them know they are not alone. Because when I was going through it I felt alone.

I remember laying on my floor in our tv room just laying there watching the tv... I wasn't watching, I was just laying there being there but I wasn't there. I was empty and lost and so upset and could never imagine why God would allow for me to feel that pain. I still don't understand it. My doctor called me later that week to check up on me and he told me that it was nothing that I did, it was my bodies way of helping because it was more than likely something wrong with the baby. But still that did not ease my pain. I remember I was mad at the world, I was mad at everyone. I lashed out at people who were having babies, lashed out when I should have been there for those people. But how could I be happy for something I wanted so badly?

I often catch myself from time to time going back to that day and remembering every feeling and every emotions. I remember sitting at the top of the stairs in Mike's arms crying and sobbing and he tried so hard to comfort me but there was nothing he could do. It took us over a year to conceive again and I was so terrified that I would lose that baby to. Luckily though Annalise was born healthy and a bundle of joy! :) So everyday with my children I am thankful that I was given the opportunity to be their mother and I pray someday I'll be able to meet that baby I carried for such a short period of time. It's crazy to me how much I desperately loved that baby and how desperately I wished I could have held that baby in my arms...

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T17:42:00.000-08:00

I hope that everyone has a very wonderful and Merry Christmas!!!

Over it...

2010-12-18T16:46:00.000-08:00

I totally told Mike today that I do not want ANYTHING for Christmas... And he thinks that's wrong I should have to open something. But truthfully with out any drama or attention involved I really don't want anything.

I'm sorta over the Christmas thing. I don't know what it was but something just totally knocked the wind out of it for me. It's lost the warm and fuzzy feeling I've always remembered and is far to focused on gifts. All I want to do is watch my children open their gifts and see their joy and excitement... but I do not want anything and I do not need anything. SERIOUS!

I'd rather not buy anyone any gifts, I'd rather it be more meaningful. I'm working on a few HANDMADE gifts... I hope I get the feeling of Christmas back...

Here's a thought...

2010-11-26T11:02:00.001-08:00

How did we go from "Thanksgiving"... spending time with all the ones we love and being thankful for family and togetherness... to "Black Friday" which I feel is full of greed and the complete opposite of being Thankful... It's crazy how fast it changes from one day to the next.

I knew there was a reason I didn't go spend all my money on Black Friday... instead I continue the being Thankful part and spend it with the people who are most important to me, 'My family'!

Just a thought, but where has the 'meaning' of Christmas gone?

Depression revelation...

2010-10-26T07:51:00.000-07:00

So as I've mentioned before... I have struggled with depression (have I mentioned that?) Well just recently my prescription ran out and my doctor would not refill it until I came to see him and have a check up. For one reason or another I do not have millions of dollars (ok $50) to go get a check up. So I just stopped taking my pills. That's not a good idea since I've been on those pills close to a year and they have to lower your doses instead of dropping cold turkey! (I sound like I have a drug problem).

Well withdrawals haven't been bad and I've been off of them two weeks or more. And to be completely honest here since I'm putting it all out there... I'M HAPPY! I have had moments of just feeling good and feeling happy and not having my bouts of depression and crying. Maybe it was the damn pills. Now I don't necessarily believe that because I have struggled with depression for a long time. But maybe just maybe I'm finally at a good place with myself. Of course I'm gonna have issues and I'm gonna have times where it rears it's ugly head. But I think I've faced enough in my life to know how to handle and address it as best as I can.

I'm happy (can you believe it) about this revelation... I'm glad I'm able to move on from this chapter. It may come to a point in my life where I'll need to take them again, but at least I know that it's not something I need all the time to keep my 'happy', I am happy! or more so I'm content with myself and that has been a hard one for me to wrestle with.

Prayers, love, life...

2010-10-19T14:19:00.000-07:00

So I have read yet another blog about a child who is very very very ill. Go to this PAGE and read all about it. Reading things like this make me feel horrible, especially after a two day spout with my 3 year old. But after reading what this family is going through it takes me back and puts me in check. How can I get so frustrated with my child and get angry and need a time out from my kids when someone else is barely going to have anytime with their children.

Taking things into perspective and loving on my children a little more than usual. You never know when something like this can happen to those you love so dearly!

Take a time out to love on the ones you love, I know I will!

30

2010-09-27T09:08:00.001-07:00

I am now officially 30 years old... I dreaded the day but it didn't turn out to bad. You know minus a few extended family drama's but nothing Mike and I can't handle. But in all it was a great day. Jared had another game (which they lost terribly). Then Mike, the kids and I went to garage sales. After that we took the kiddo's to the Sis in Laws (Thanks Mandy so much) and she watched the kids while Mike and I went to dinner. We don't get away from the kids often enough... but when we do it's so nice and so peaceful. It was a great dinner and I even had a beer. I don't drink so I was pretty much buzzin when we left!

So I had a great birthday and I spent it with my family. So here's to a new chapter in my life, here's to happier days and making the best of what I have... and to be honest I have a lot of great things and people in my life... I have so much to be THANKFUL FOR!!!

Oh the joy...

2010-09-23T15:53:00.000-07:00

It's been a crazy couple of weeks. Jared and football, me and work and well me and my birthday!

The cool thing though is I got to get my present early. I picked a Kindle... I love my kindle, now I just have to find good books to fill it with. You have any idea's please share with this old lady...

And by old I mean 30. I seriously cannot believe that I am going to be 30 on Saturday. I'm sorta in denial about the whole thing. I know that age is just a number, but come on when you are in your teens and twenties 30 is a big deal. I'm a serious grown-up that does not feel like a grown-up one bit. I have all the things a grown-up should want. House, car, kids, dog... blackberry (oh my gosh)... but seriously I still feel 12. How is that possible?

Well not much else to say so there you have it probably the last post I'll ever write in my twenties again! Hope you all are well...

3rd grade and Football!

2010-09-10T07:51:00.000-07:00

So above is my 3rd grader. This is the only picture he would let me take and I'm not pleased with this one as it is! He does NOT like me taking his picture and he hardly even let me walk him to school. I swear I am not one of those moms, I just like to go with my kid on the first day of school. I have since he was in Kindergarten... but this year it made him very angry with me!

Anyway my little boy isn't so little anymore...

He is a very very busy guy! He started 3rd grade and then we threw him into football last minuet. Although he doesn't know much about it he's starting to like it and yesterday I was able to go to one of his practices. I watched my little baby boy get tackled and you know what? I CRIED! I did and I quickly wiped my tears so my son and my husband did not see because they would not understand. But he (Jared) is my first born the reason I am a mother. And to watch someone take my son down to the ground with all his force hurt me probably more than it hurt him, but either way my job is to protect my son not allow others to kick his butt. Jared is a bit skittish about tackling other's but I told him last night he has full permission from me to just tackle someone straight to the ground- "KICK THERE ASS JARED! But once they are down it's done walk away!" He laughed at me!!!

So we are in for a busy year, which I'm enjoying already except getting up earlier sucks! I sorta liked being able to sleep in, it's been a long time since I can say that happened. So I'll try and get some pictures up of my football player, his first game is this Saturday. I am proud of the little man he is becoming as much as I'd like for him to stay little I am very proud of who he is!

Happy Happy Joy Joy...

2010-09-09T08:42:00.001-07:00

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections." -Unknown

So I published my last blog and realized that I'm starting to get stuck in the negativity... the negativity is what feeds my depression and feeds the hostility in this situation. So I need to get back into the mindset that THIS TO SHALL PASS and this is not going to effect me... I'm turning my frown upside down and walking past the shit with my nose held high no matter how bad it stinks!

I will smile even if its hard. I will speak with love and respect, even if it's not returned. I will keep my head held high no matter how hard people try to take me down. I will come home to the people who matter the most to me and leave the shitty world at my door to deal with another day!

Change...

2010-09-09T07:56:00.000-07:00

Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are. -Bertold Brecht

I wish people could except change. I wish that a situation I'm in right now wasn't taking up so much of my thought process and effecting me so much when it's barely a huge part of my day. But when you HAVE to surround yourself with such immaturity and such unwillingness to except things like change... it effects me on such a deep level... and it HONESTLY pisses me off!

I've NEVER known life to stay the same and I've always learned that you go with the punches and you go with the flow. I've always excepted change (maybe not liked it, but what can you do?), it's a way of life... isn't it? Life isn't easy, I've learned that all to well... but I've managed to get through it and I'm not even half way through it! But I feel like I have a better understanding of life and changing than someone I have to surround myself with... it has got to be one of the most frustrating and annoying things ever.

How do you just continue through your day and not let immature people effect you? How do you do what you do and not let people try to break you and take you down? Why does such petty and immature things effect me so much?

On a kick about Maturity, enjoy!

2010-08-31T14:33:00.000-07:00

"Maturity is the ability to think, speak, and act your feelings within the bounds of dignity. The measure of your maturity is how spiritual you become during the midst of your frustrations! --Samuel Ullman

So I'm dealing with some things in my life that are very IMMATURE. I had no idea (or maybe I did) that people sometimes never really grow up. I'm not even talking the kid at heart, the ones who enjoy there lives. I deal with many different types of people every single day and I can honestly say that I can deal with them like anything else, with a grain of salt and for what it is. Who knew that actually being human could be so hard, or acting your age could be so difficult. The one thing this lesson has taught me is how people perceive you and your actions. I am a very emotional person. My tear ducts are directly connected to every single emotion I ever get. I am easily angered... but more than that I love people usually for who they are until they turn into complete jackasses and then GOOD BYE!!!

I usually take life as it comes but a lot of the time life takes me down full force. I think someone was brought into my life to show me the EXTREMES of my weaknesses... And boy am I so over it and so working on the things that I struggle with, because this is absolutely the most immature thing I've ever had to be involved with. I've actually learned to smile when things get tough, laugh it off and NOT TAKE IT SO DAMN PERSONAL! In this craziness I've turned to quotes that help me put it all into perspective (read above quote)... Here are a few more.

"The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not BLAME them on your mother, the ecology, or the President. You realize that you control your own destiny!" --Albert Ellis

And one more for the day...

"The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." --Carlos Castaneda

It's funny how one completely annoying thing can actually bring light to your own struggles and in a sense or in my situation make you more mature than someone who is wel my ELDER! :)

The Last Song...

2010-08-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

I watched The Last Song last night... I've wanted to see this movie since I read the book. The book seriously brought me to tears and I cried, more like sobbed the last half of the book.

This however is a good example of the difference between a really GREAT book and a good movie that is NOTHING like the book. It disappoints me every single time but I made a promise to myself that I would always read the book before I watched the movie. I had expected more out of this movie, not because of the actress but because of the book itself. It had a lot more behind it than just a 'romance'... it touched me pretty deeply. The movie barely touched it. It was good but doesn't even compare to the book.

So I love the book and like the movie and totally dislike Miley Cyrus's acting!!! If you've seen the movie or read the book I'd like to hear your input, comments open I'd love to hear what you thought!!!

One after...

2010-08-17T10:27:00.001-07:00

...another in the blog world. First a brand new baby passes on and now a 25 yr old has cancer. She has 2 babies for goodness sake. It just breaks my heart.

I get so overwhelmed when I read about others going through such horrible things. My heart totally breaks for these people, these people I don't even know. Then like today when I was reading of this 25 year old wife and mother who just found out she has cancer I stop with my eyes filled with tears and try and look at my life for a minuet.

What in the hell would my family do without me, and I seriously cannot imagine my life without them. Would they really know how much I truly love them and how much they truly changed my life? Would they know that I could not imagine my life without them? Would they know that even though mommy has her crazy moments she wouldn't change those crazy moments for no moments at all without them?

Sometimes I truly question why people have to go through all this pain and loss. And I truly pray with all my being that I do not have to suffer through such a loss. I know at some point in my life something will happen and I'll have to endure it, but PLEASE not anytime soon. I just need to totally 100% turn my life only to my family and my children and to me and live like tomorrow would not be here. Live so we have memories and happiness and not frustration and fear... but it's so hard!

I have to remember what's really important in my life and what I really could not live without!

Can I just say...

2010-08-13T11:29:00.001-07:00

My daughter is 2, she is going to be 3 in October. And she is potty trained. (knock on wood- cause if this jinx's it I'm gonna be pissed)... I've waited a couple of months to post this but it sorta just happened and I'm honestly not sure how. She wears undies all day and pull ups at night. I am so happy to be out of poopy diapers, you have no idea. This brings on the fact though that I will not be having anymore babies... that is sad. I really really love babies and I love my babies. I tried to convince Mike we needed to have another, but I know that 2 is enough. It is far more stressful than I ever imagined it would be... but I wouldn't trade my two for the world.

So I am officially done with diapers now I just have to get her done with the pull-ups at night. That I'm not sure of how to do. She sometimes will wake up dry but most nights she is wet. She doesn't have much to drink before bed, but it's been so hot at night I have to let her drink a little so she isn't all sweaty or dehydrated. So we'll work slowly on this one.

I just wanted to toot the horn of the potty training cause I did not training. Actually to be honest both kids were pretty easy to potty train. I must say my kiddo's are pretty freaking smart! But I don't like to brag! :)

2010-08-02T12:45:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm fighting an upward battle and I feel that the battle is starting to kick my ass. Sorry for the harsh words but if ever I was on a rope I'd be at the end of it. I love that I have this blog to let somethings out, but I don't feel like I can completely let it out. Oh wouldn't you love to hear what I have to say?

All I know is that money is the root of all evil, and it brings me to tears. There is no easy way to work a marriage and money. We've tried it all. But half the problem is the lack of 'team' in this and it stems much further than just money but also relationship.

I know that all things are a work in progress and I do hope that 'This Shall Pass'...

I go through days where I just feel like I'm swimming in my head and I have so many battles I feel like I have to battle. I feel like my wheels are spinning and nothing is happening. I am turning 30 and I feel at such a dead end. What has my life been, what am I doing with my life, where am I going? Does everyone do this when they turn 30? I feel like I'm having a mini life crisis. I feel like I'm going nuts! :)

Summer

2010-07-29T16:48:00.001-07:00

Our summer has been crazy but it's been good. I've been making a very active effort to get my kids out and doing things. I tend to be a hermit when it comes to life. But I promised my kids to go out and do some things. We've made lists and we've drawn them in the order we'll do then (for the weekends). Although I have not actually don't them in the order or when we said we would. We've actually gone out and done a lot of the things I said we would. We went to the zoo about 2 or 3 weeks back. Although I do not like the Pointe Defiance Zoo... the kids always love it and at the end I'll sit and watch the kids play in the play area for a good hour to get all their energy out. But it's a fun time no matter what we do!

I did adventure out with just me and the kids to the North West Trek. I tend to not like to do things on my own with me and just the kids. I usually like to have others with me to help with extra eyes and I do not always like to go places alone (not sure why). But I packed the kids in the car on probably the hottest day this July and we were off. We had a long but awesome day and I'm glad I did that. It was so crazy hot though that I was sick by the time we got home and was sick for the next day after that. Next time I either need to not go on the hottest day or bring lots and lots of water. But in all it was a great day with my two kids who bring so much joy into my life I cannot explain it!

Almost every day we go to the park and a few times I've gone I've met other moms. So hopefully I'm gonna have some friends here in this area and an outlet for me and people to talk to.

So I could say that I've enjoyed my summer with the kids. Jared has been away this week at his Grandma's so we'll be heading north to get him this weekend and I'll hopefully have something planned to do with them up north. I'm trying to make the most out of the life I've been given and get out and enjoy this 'life' a little more than I ever have. I am still dealing with the daily battles of course but someday some how I will always be happy and go lucky! I am going to be happy with me myself and I and I'm going to wake up everyday with a smile and I'm going to thank my lucky stars for the life I've been given. And really I do feel all those things, just not everyday or every moment. I am a work in progress but I've made huge steps over the past couple of months and I am proud of myself!

Remember me...

2010-07-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

Remember me... I watched this movie this weekend. I wasn't sure what to expect. I know that I love Robert Pattinson... but his acting isn't the best. This movie I thought was gonna be the normal romance with the happy ending. The movie was a little boring and it was hard to keep my interest. But I do not like to give up on movies that easy. I watched it all the way to the end and I'm glad that I did. All I can say (in case you haven't seen it)... is I was completely speechless after.

I love when a movie can make you think to what is important and what your life means. Anything can happen at any minuet and you better hope the people you love know you love them to. I wish I could put into more profound words what this movie meant to me but I really don't want to ruin the movie for people who haven't seen it yet. But my word to you is go see it. It's not a top 10 kind of movie, it's a pull on the heart strings and make you love life kind of movie.

8 years ago...

2010-07-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

I became a mother. 8 years ago my water broke and for roughly 20 hours I waited and waited for this little man to make his entrance... After a tiny bit of time having my first c-section my little man made me a mother!

8 years has surely flown by. It's hard to look back on the past 8 years and not wonder where it all went. There has been ups and downs and all the in betweens. Kindergarten, First Grade, Second Grade and now we are moving onto 3rd. I did not realize how fast the time would go, I am so proud of my son. He amazes me every single day. And although he is growing to be a young little man, he'll always be my baby boy! My baby boy who changed my world forever!!!

Jared- I love you more than words could ever express. Thank you for giving me the joy of watching you grow every single day. You changed my world in more ways then you will ever know and I wouldn't change one single moment for anything in the world! Happy Birthday Baby!

I'm sad, but thankful!

2010-07-08T09:40:00.000-07:00

I'm not sad for my normal reasons of self inflicting pain. I'm sad because I got sad news from someone dear to me and my family. Although it's not my story to tell I'll be brief in what I say. All I know is that it makes me hug my children a lot closer knowing it could be gone in a minuet!

Someone who has grown a spot into our family (our nanny) is going through some extreme pain along with her family. Her nephew is in the hospital and it's not looking good. He is on life support and from what she says- he needs a miracle! One small thing can turn into one horrible thing and I CANNOT even imagine the pain that little boys parents feel or that huge HORRIBLE decision they have to make. It makes my heart hurt in extreme ways to even fathom making that decision for my children. I wonder sometimes what God is thinking when things like this happen to ones so little with no voice, and no choice! I guess I can only have faith that he knows what he's doing, but that one is hard to swallow. It makes the things I struggle with on a daily basis seem so insignificant compared to what a lot of parents have to go through and it makes me feel so selfish.

So today I'm saying a prayer for this tiny little baby that only God can help now... I will love my children with even more passion and thank my lucky stars for the life I've been given and the children who were given to me!

Hello

2010-07-07T10:17:00.000-07:00

Hello my blogger friends and buddies!!! I hope that everyone had a wonderful fourth of July!

We did. We went to Steamboat Island to a private beach party (oohh high class)... but if you'd seen the people there you would think otherwise. Anyway it was great. We spent the day eating, drinking and playing games. Come night fall we watched some fireworks and headed home. It was CRAZY cold for a fourth of July... colder than I remember! Anyway it was a great time and the kids had an even better time!

Nothing new to report or post. Things are moving forward as life would have it. I'm taking one day at a time and going from there. I have to say that today is going to be a HOT one and today I'm glad that I work, even if it's for 4 hours... it'll be four hours in a nice cool room. I feel bad for Mike and the kids. They'll have to suffer while momma takes a breath of cold air! :)

Anyway I'm gonna start working on my posts about the books I've been reading. Can't wait to start that! Have a absolutely fantastic day!

Letting it all go and living for ME...

2010-07-02T10:08:00.000-07:00

There's a couple things going on. First my happiness moment. I have ached to have it back. I don't like feeling lost and sad and overwhelmed. I crave to feel that again. But I let people effect me way to much so in letting people effect me and hurt me I lose that LOVING feeling. I let someone get to me yesterday and I was so overwhelmed with sadness, over something I couldn't control or something I really can't care that much about. With that being said I let the sadness happen, I thought about it and today I feel better!

I even felt a little bit of that happiness again while I sat and watched my daughter blow bubbles. It's the small things I'm noticing that are bringing the biggest parts of joy in me. Who would have thought it would be the small things in life that would make you the happiest!? Why do I always look for the big things, the hardest to achieve to make me happy? Or why do I even try to be happy, why don't I just let myself be happy! I struggle with ME on a daily basis and it's me I have to deal with. My moment of sadness yesterday brought that to the surface again.

I AM NOT GOING TO LET PEOPLE AND THEIR ACTIONS AND THEIR WORDS AND THEIR HEARTS EFFECT ME, MY HAPPINESS AND MY HEART! (although it's easier said then done, I really have to start living that!) I can't keep wishing for the could have been's or the I wishes... I just really really have to live for right now. And right now I am all I have... me and my children are my focus and once I can get that all figured out the rest will fall into place. I do believe that, but it's scary to let go of all the other things you have focused on for so long! So SCREW the people who hurt me either by choice or not... screw the people who have my broken little heart in their hands... screw the people who would rather see me fail then succeed... I'm not saying these people totally exist in my life, but for anyone who wants to F**K with me... well go ahead and try but I'm done being a go to for your broken heart for your loneliness, for your outlet... and I'm tired of reaching out to those who could really give a f**k. I have to live with me so I'm gonna start liking/loving me and living for me!

___________________________________________________________________

Second part of this post. I've been reading A LOT lately. So I want to share the books I've read and what I've gotten out of those books. I love reading, I love losing myself in those worlds. It turns my brain off from the current reality of my life and lets my brain focus on something else. So I'm gonna start blogging about the journey's I've taken in these books and what I've gotten out of it. So I hope you enjoy!

I really hope that everyone who reads my blogs enjoys their 4th of July... Have a safe and wonderful weekend! I'm going to try for that as well! HERE'S TO A BETTER LIFE!!!

A smile from inside-

2010-06-24T09:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took an inventory of my emotions. I've struggled with them as some of you know. I have felt lost, I've felt lonely and I've felt a ton more emotions!

I decided about a month ago that I was done feeling sorry for myself (sorta) and I was gonna turn my frustrations and love towards the two people who deserved it the most. My kids (and me, I deserve my love)... Well yesterday and I'm not sure when this was, but for a moment I truly felt happy.

I've been frustrated with Mike and some things that go along with that. But for the most part I felt a sense of happiness, my insides actually smiled. I didn't really know that could happen! :)

I am by no means cured of the struggles I'm going through. But I have done a lot of soul searching and decision making and for once a peace was about me that I enjoyed. So I'm hoping that was a stepping stone to better things. I'm also excited for summer because I am making an active effort to get out and do more things with my kids. We have already two weekends in a row so I'm proud of myself. If anyone has any good summer ideas please let me know!

So

2010-05-24T08:31:00.001-07:00

I'm going to start living. I know this may seem weird to some, but I sorta live in this cocoon of life. I'm so overwhelmed with where my life is. I thought I was making good changes, but instead I'm just over thinking everything.

My new agenda is this. I'm going to LIVE life. I'm not going to worry about what everyone else is doing and what everyone else is doing with out me. Instead I'm going to pick my children up and live through them. They are not going to fix me, but I'm going to be the mother they deserve. I'm going to watch every smile and listen to every laugh and remember that they are my children and they deserve to be happy as much as I do. They ARE the reason I wake up every morning, they are the reason I am alive. I want to see the world through their eyes, because right now they only see the good. It's sad that I have to see the world for the broken place it has become. But WHY cannot I live like they do? They are my anti-depressant!

So starting now the kids and I are going to start getting out and doing things and explore this place. I don't know what to do around here, but we'll figure it out. I'm going to break out of this damn comfort zone I have and break out into this world. No one said it was easy, although I wish it was. But someone told me something that sorta hit a nerve and I have to pick myself up, it's time.

'Don't judge me because you don't know me, just listen because that's what I need. Pick me up when I've fallen but don't put bandages on my knees... I have to start feeling the pain in order for me to heal.'

2010-05-05T08:32:00.001-07:00

First I'll start by saying that I have been blogging, but not publishing them. I have a lot of things going on in my head right now and it's probably a good thing I don't post it all... But today I'm going to post.

I'll start with one awesome thing. My daughter is AMAZING!!! Every time music comes on, if I'm searching the web or what not we totally break out and dance and sing. It's the funniest thing and makes me so happy. I love love love my daughters personality and it brings out the best in me. She is the BEST anti-depressant out there. So if you need a little uplift for the day come dance and shake your booty with my daughter!

Onto something that really bothers me and has for a long time. I've said it before on previous posts, but why in the hell do the things I post here or on facebook or myspace effect people. I see post from people on a daily basis talking about how crappy their day has been or that they are sad, or whatever it might be... do they get as much crap as I do for posting that stuff? And do I really care, NO NO NO! Every time someone makes a comment about me bitching or complaining, I go through and look at posts and really truthfully all I'm being is honest. Do people not except honesty? And do I really care? Again, NO NO NO!

All I'm doing right now is venting, cause I am so sick of it. I have started to remove and block people who can't except me for me. I'm not all butterflies and flowers... giggles and laughs. I'm real and I'm going through real shit. I'm not gonna post lies and fake stuff just to spare people my reality. Granted I don't post all the crap I'm going through, but it's nice to be able to get stuff off your chest/mind and sometimes have people give you advice or encouragement.

So as I've said before. If you don't like the things I write, the comments I make, or the reality I put out there, THEN STOP READING MY CRAP!!! It should not effect you that much that you have to make a comment about it on my page or through an email or to someone else. Keep it to yourself. I live my life for me, for my children, not for you and your benifit. I don't live my life through rose colored glasses either!!! So either deal with what I have to say or move onto someone else!

Ok I feel better... Now I'm gonna go rock out with my daughter!!!

I wish...

2010-04-13T07:48:00.000-07:00

So I've decided that I'm making some big changes in my life. I seriously wish that I could tell you what all those changes are. But one, I don't know what they all are and two I don't know who reads this and I need to keep some things private until they are completely figured out.

The one I will share with you now is that I've taken up POWER walking, and a short sprint (run)... I say short because the first day I tried to run I thought I was going to die. NO JOKE! I couldn't breath and I was so mad at myself. So instead of running I just power walked. I did that two days in a row and I was sooooo sore after. But I was happy that I was sore because that meant that I was doing something right. The only thing that I am not enjoying is the pain I have in my shins. It's sooo hard.

After the two days of walking I got sick. I had one of the worst migraines I've had in a long time and nothing I did would make it go away. So for two and a half days I did nothing, no walking just was in pain. This morning I awoke again at 6am determined to walk and my shins hurt so freaking bad again that I couldn't go as long as I had the first 2 days. I hope that this gets better, because this is something I want and need really bad. I have a lot of things to sort out in my life and my brain... walking/running is going to help me at least clear my head and get some perspective (I hope), at least a dear friend of mine has told me that it would.

As for the other stuff. I'll go into little detail. I've posted that I struggle with depression. Well I'm on medication to help that, but my doctor suggested that I make some life style changes... hence the running/walking. But I also need to figure out who I am. Because I feel like I've lost myself. I feel like I have NO idea who I am. I wasn't sure what or when or how I lost me, but I'm so sad that that has happened. So in another part of my BIG CHANGES, I'm going to work on finding me and what makes me tick and how I can make me happy again. In order for my life to be stable and everyone to be happy, I need to be happy first. I think last night I was able to pinpoint one reason for my unhappiness and my untrust in life. But that is one thing I cannot blog about because I do not want to hurt anyone that it involves. The only thing I'll say about that, is that it was a while back and it was a HUGE mile marker in my life and some others as well.

So there you know a little of what is going on in my life, and I say little cause you have NO IDEA how crazy it has been. But I'm hoping that I'll get back into blogging and getting some of this shit off my chest, God knows I need to get it off my chest. I wish I didn't have to filter it so much, so maybe you'll get parts of it and a personal journal will get the rest!

Thanks for listening, or reading I guess!!!

Past...

2010-03-16T12:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Mike and I were going through stuff in the garage. I came across some stuff from my 'past', my childhood, my high school years.

I had this scrapbook that I made from memories and old boyfriends... It actually made me cry. I remembered the pains and the joys I went through when I was younger. I am so thankful I don't have to go through all the dating and breaking up. But for some reason it made me sad to remember all that stuff that I went through.

I love memories and I'm glad that I kept that stuff. But it was just weird remembering them again. I read some of my old poems and they were good, but they were so dark and so sad. Was I really always that sad, maybe my depression stems way back...

Anyway, it was interesting opening that part of my past that I shut away so long ago!

Here you go...

2010-03-07T10:53:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure where I start with this blog... this has been something in my life since I met Mike and always something I've wondered about... Let me go back a step further and I'll explain. But I'm gonna be honest that I'm not gonna say to much about the whole story of 'before' cause it's not my story to completely tell.

Mike has a dad! You might think that's funny, but really it's not. When I met Mike shortly after that I met his whole family. His mom, and his 3 sisters. But I NEVER met his dad. We would talk briefly about him but his dad "hated" all of them so it was likely that I'd never know him and Mike would never want to know him again. It's not that tragic of a story, the details I'll spare but we'll just say that Mikes dad did not take kindly to his wife getting a divorce from him and some other things that happened... but that's just the way things happened and well get over it. It didn't just start then, it probably started when Mike was 11 or 13, I can't remember to much of the details but his Dad ended up being a pretty mean guy.

I don't know why I couldn't grasp how Mike never wanted to know anymore about his dad or ever wondered how he was. I guess maybe because I really had a wonderful dad I just couldn't imagine the void of not having a dad... but I've gone 7+ years thinking often of Mikes dad and wondering of the void left in each of his kids lives since he could care less about them, or the fact that he has 4 grandkids. He often has said that he doesn't have kids to the faces of his children.

So my thoughts of this only grew stronger as soon as we moved down in the same town that his father lives. I'd always hoped to run into him or at least see him. I've never even seen him besides pictures. His other siblings see him around town all the time, when we eat at this famous breakfast place I will look out the window and look at his house where he lives, because I know where he lives and it's right across the street from the place we go to eat sometimes. I don't talk to Mike about this often, because he DOES not understand and does not care to ever see him again.

Well this brings you current and then it'll explain to you what happened to me Friday night. I really wanted to go see a movie so I invited my sis in laws. We went to dinner and then headed to the movies... our luck though it was sold out. So we needed to find something else to do because we are moms and it was a night out without kids and we needed the night out. We decided to go to the Casino and gamble... We didn't know that walking into those Casino doors would cross something off my list of things I either need to do or wanted to do.

There was his dad sitting at a table playing Keno with his girlfriend Ana. She knows one of my sis in laws from where she works and that is a whole other story. But we stopped for a second to say hello and their dad of course said nothing. We were headed to the bathroom so we scooted along. We stood there in shock about who we had just run into... and then Ana came in and told us that it would be a good idea if we stop by and talk with them on our way out... if we didn't mind.

So we talked with him briefly and so I finally met his Dad...

Where we go from here I won't know cause Mike does NOT want him in our lives... but I'll take it for what it is now and we'll see what happens in the future!!!

sorry!!!

2010-02-17T17:57:00.001-08:00

So I haven't had the time to update from my last blog I am so sorry.. It is almost complete and I will post it soon!

Promise!

Interesting...

2010-02-06T12:19:00.001-08:00

I have an interesting post that I'm going to be "posting" soon. I just wanted to give you guys a heads up!!! It's gonna be a good one!

Sitting at work...

2010-02-02T16:08:00.001-08:00

This four hours of work thing today is dragging on!!!

Lots on my mind, lots to do at home... wishing things were easier and money grew on tree's!

The new year...

2010-01-16T17:59:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting to post something for a while, but I've had such a block. I've been overwhelmed with not working, trying to get a job and figure out what is right to do for our family. I honestly believe with ALL my heart that I'm supposed to be home with my children, but I also know that I have to make some money for our family so we have a home to live in! :) Where is the middle ground here? My husband is unhappy with his job and he wants to make a change, but he's the one that makes the most money so if he did something drastic we would be hurting.

I just feel all the pressure to find something and do something. I had another interview at SF and I thought for sure that I got the job. However I again did not. It just pisses me off, the one and only place I would like to work at will not hire me. So I've decided I'm done trying to work there. I just wish I could figure something out that I could do at home and still make money.

ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEAS?

Other than that everything is good. The kids are great and love me being home. Jared is doing good in school, making good decisions and I'm proud of him. Annalise is getting so big and she is so smart and she amazes me everyday! Mike is almost finished with the hunting season (yeah maybe my garage won't smell like ass any longer!), but he's had a great hunting season. He will be leaving next week for training in Colorado (like last year). So it'll just be me and the kids for the week...

Other than that nothing else to really report on. I will try and keep up on this more, but I appreciate all who read this, I really do!

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year!

2010-01-02T10:06:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Christmas, much different than a lot of our past Christmas'... but it was great. I have NO pictures to post since my camera had no charge, and I couldn't find the cord. GREAT!!!

As for 2009, SEE YA! You brought many great things and many annoying things. But like every other year we've managed to make it through all in tact!!! Thank you so much!

Now on to 2010... may you be a great year for our family and may only good things come our way!!!

Christmas...

2009-12-18T10:17:00.000-08:00

I've been struggling this year to get into the Christmas spirit. Things have been crazy stressful and just all overwhelming. I lost my job, but before that I was struggling with being a full time worker and still a full time mother. I felt like my family was falling apart... Jared was struggling in school and I just missed my children and my husband. Mike and my schedule was never the same because we were trying to make it work for our children to not be in daycare or whatever to much!

So I guess this Christmas my gift is losing or quiting my job. It's going to make things TIGHT for the time being. But I guess the reward is that our kids will not have someone else watching them (although I am thankful for the people who helped care for our children)... I love nothing more than to be here full time for my children and to be able to care for my home. This is the job I love, this is the only job I want.

I need to take a step back and reflect on the things I have. I FINALLY have my own home, I have a healthy and happy family and I have life... Life is good! We have a roof over our head and although it's not always the best food, we have food in our bellies!!!

I told Mike the other day that since I lost my job I don't really want anything for Christmas... and he thought I was joking and part of me questioned what I was saying, who doesn't love getting presents? But my presents are already here and I love love love my family!!! I think everyone including my family has lost what Christmas is all about. I hate feeling like I have to get someone the best gift, something they really want. But honestly what it's about is being with your family. I like to get people gifts with meaning and thought. So I hope whoever reads this knows what their gift meant from us... and I hope that you love it as much as we love you!

Jobless...

2009-12-16T14:47:00.000-08:00

So I no longer have a job. It wasn't something that came easy or hard for that matter.

Lets just say that what I took on was UNREALISTIC and pisses me off to think of the things that were expected... especially in the two worst months of the year for sales.

Anyway, OH TO BIGGER AND BETTER!

Lets just pray I find better!

MIA

2009-11-12T15:35:00.000-08:00

I know I've been gone for a while from blogging... but I've been so busy with working now and when I'm home I try to be home with the kids and the hubby! I promise once we get into the swing of things I'll be back!

Until then, I miss you all!

Our life is changing,

2009-11-01T09:22:00.000-08:00

and I hope it all works out.

So tomorrow I start my new job. I have to hit the ground running and it's going to consume me and I'm so very nervous. My daughter and I have a very close and wonderful relationship and I do not want for that to change. I don't want her to hate me for not being around and I don't want her to be mad that she has to go hang with someone else. I hope that this person who is going to be watching my daughter will love her and cuddle her and make her feel ok.

I have so many worries and I just pray with all my heart that this doesn't hurt my family in anyway at all.

Here's to HOPE!!!

When?

2009-10-25T16:40:00.000-07:00

Does life stop throwing all the damn curve balls? I'm tired of going with the punches, I am gonna start punching back!

Oh the joys,

2009-10-23T16:30:00.000-07:00

of being sick!

I think the stress of all the stuff that was going on finally caught up to me. I've been sick since I think Tuesday morning. But Tuesday morning I found out that I got the job. YES!!! I will be working at American Family Insurance, as a Marketing/Sales rep. I'm sorta excited about this, we'll just have to see how everyone adjusts.

So anyway there is a little update. Sorry not a big one but whatever I got really took me out. I was feeling a little better today and since we've had no food since I've been sick I thought I'd go to Walmart to tackle that. Half way through the trip I realized that was a bad idea because I was feeling crappy. It goes in waves, but if I do to much then I can tell. And since I just cleaned the whole downstairs because no one else in my family decided it was important enough. I feel like crap. So back to the couch to rest!

As far as the job goes I start on the 2nd. One more week!

Job...

2009-10-18T09:20:00.000-07:00

Did you know that it's almost impossible to get a job today is this market, or any market?

Well I'm hear to tell you that it is crazy ridiculous. I have been trying since I don't even know when to get a job. It was either right before or right after we got our house. I have driven around on several different days dropping of my resume. I've had several interviews. Some to witch I left very pissed off because they weren't even hiring until May or for 3-6 months. Why did you waste my time?

I have had 2 interviews with the current company I am trying to get a job with... and everything is standing still on something that is on my credit and I guess has been since 2005. I have to get it removed before they will give me a job offer. Now this said item should not be on there. I called the company and explained the situation and told them I have documentation stating it should not be on there. So far I've spoken to at least 5+ people each one telling me different things. I've faxed said documents 3+ times and they've only received them once. They said they will take care of it when they can, but MY JOB DEPENDS ON IT. I asked if they could supply me with a letter stating this would be taken care of, they tell me there is no such letter. WHAT?

So not sure where to go from here, but I'm just frustrated with this whole situation. From having to get a job to the issues I'm dealing with at the moment. I realize that it's the economy, but really can't I just get a break. I've been so overwhelmed and stressed, it's just crazy!

Beautifully imperfect...

2009-10-17T10:49:00.000-07:00

I wish I could get this video I saw on facebook over to my blog. But for now I'll just state that sometimes it's the little things that bring things into perspective. This short little clip was a funeral and the wife came up to talk about her husband. But she didn't want to talk about all the great things about him. She wanted to talk about how he snored at night and farted at night. And then when he became ill it was the only thing that let her know that he was still alive.

It makes you take a step back and look at life and look and the little things in life. Do you ever find yourself just going through the motions and living life and not taking a step back to realize what life is all about? It's about ALL the small things, the little things that make life worth living.

Yes the things your husband does may bug the crap out of you. But Mike often says to me, "you'll miss it once I'm gone!" And truthfully I would. If Mike were gone it would break my heart to not have him to kick at night for snoring... I would be so sad that I wouldn't laugh every time he looked up at the sun just to make himself sneeze. I would miss the smell of his yucky spit after such said sneeze. And believe me there are a ton of other things I could post about what he does! :)

Sometimes I catch myself getting to wrapped up in the day to day grind, and the day to day stresses that just consume me... that I'm not able to just take in the things that I would miss if they were gone. So today I think I'm gonna slow down a little bit and enjoy my kids and just be happy in the moment and not worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will be here soon enough!!!

uhh, not good!

2009-10-07T08:08:00.000-07:00

F-U MONEY AND THE DAMN HORSE YOU FLEW IN ON!!!

Sorry needed to vent, really frustrated with myself and life at the moment. I hate money and all the things that follow it!

Look inside...

2009-10-03T12:52:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures of the inside of our house. It's not all put together but I wanted you guys to see my lovely house. The first picture is when you walk in the front door, the stairs are on the right. The 2nd picture is the front door. The 3rd picture is the view into the living room looking from the kitchen. The last picture is the view into the kitchen from the living room.

Enjoy!!!

One of my favorites!

2009-10-03T12:50:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of me and my kiddo's on my birthday!!! I absolutely love this picture!!!

30

2009-09-27T10:33:00.000-07:00

So as some know my birthday was on the 25th and I turned the big 29... that means that next year I turn 30. I've never really thought it was that big of a deal to turn 30. But yesterday when Mike and I were driving around at garage sales and shopping for stuff for our house it hit me so hard that I sorta had a mini anxiety attack!

It took my breath away!

30 is a big deal, and I don't know why. You go from the 20's when for so long I've felt like such a kid. But when you think of 30 you are actually an adult. I mean I've been an adult well for as long as I've had a child. I had Jared when I was 21 and I seriously had to grow up fast when I had him. But all these changes this year have put things into perspective for me. You can't blame stupid decisions on "oh I'm still in my 2o's"... and the list could go on. But now 30 means you are closer to 40 and closer to 50 and oh my gosh my life is flashing before my very eyes.

HOLY CRAP!

We made it...

2009-09-07T12:48:00.000-07:00

We are finally in our home, OUR HOME!!! We are close to unpacked, but still have to put things up on the walls. We've finally got our bed put up, and Anna's bed put up... we are working on night three (tonight) of getting my little lady to sleep in her own bed. I've had to make a temporary bed on the floor below her so we can work on this. The 1st night she fell out of bed twice. So I eventually end up sleeping on the floor after about 10 or more trips to reassure her that it's ok!

I LOVE my house... it doesn't feel like home just yet, but we are working on it. But I do so much love love love my house. I never knew what it would feel like to "own" my own home, but it is very different than renting, for sure!

On a fun note (hahaha). We had to take Annalise to the ER the other night. We have 3 steps up from the back patio to our slider door... it drops off to either side and isn't the biggest area to stand. Annalise was playing outside and took to wide of a step and fell and hit her private area. She kept telling me that it hurt her pretty bad. So I took her diaper off only to find that she was bleeding down there and I couldn't figure out where or what happened. After a call to the after hours nurse they suggested I take her to the ER. I figured it would be a long trip but not long like this.

We got there at probably 8 and didn't leave there until 1:30am. I broke down in tears because it was the longest wait I've been in the ER ever. I've had to go to the ER a few times, and this was out of control. It was like 12:15am and Mike and I were sitting there just pissed and I stood up and was ready to go home. I was just gonna take her to her doctors that morning because I honestly had enough of watching all the people who came in hours after me be seen. I stood up told Mike we were leaving and they called us back, weird!

We were in the room for all of 10 minuets and were seen and discharged. Annalise tore a tiny spot inside but no where near needing stitches or caused any damage. They told me to give her 2 baths a day and she should be as good as new. WHAT ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS, I WAITED 5 HOURS FOR YOU TO TELL ME TO GIVE MY DAUGHTER A DAMN BATH!!! Mike and I talked to the nurse a little about how angry we were with the whole situation, she apologized... but hey she got paid!

So Annalise is recovering! She is really bruised but she is ok!

What else? Jared starts school on Wednesday and I'm so excited. His school we can see from our front yard. It's a stone throw away and it's brand new. I cannot believe that my son is going to be a 2nd grader. Seriously, I'm old!!!

Oh yes and I am no longer watching either of my nephews... weird had no idea that would happen. I knew Ryker but not Theron... so I'm in the process of finding a new job. Wish me luck!

I promise to post pics as soon as I take some. My camera is full and I got a new phone and the pictures suck. So I promise to get some up soon.

There she is!!!

2009-08-26T20:07:00.001-07:00

And by the way...

2009-08-26T17:46:00.000-07:00

I'm officially a HOMEOWNER!!!

Today was the best day ever, minus the births of my to two children and when I got married!!! :)

YEAH FOR ME!!!

Here we go again...

2009-08-26T08:06:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna start with a warning there may be a swear word or two in here... for that I'm sorry but today I've had enough. I may end up deleting this, but for now you get to peak into my anger.

I am so sick and tired of people telling me that I have a perfect life. I've AGAIN never said otherwise. I am also not gonna stop living my life because others can't get their shit together.

I am so sorry that after so many trials and issues that I was able to find my husband whom I love dearly. But getting to where we are was NO easy task and the fact that we made it to where we are, I thank God everyday because it was and still is very hard.
I am so very sorry that I moved to Lacey... I did it for no other reason than for my family. For Mike, Jared and Annalise. I've made every attempt to keep people close. But the past month or so I've been a little distant because I truly have A LOT going on... but I guess since I'm perfect I have to be able to spread myself in a thousand places and get over my own issues.
I am so very sorry that I'm buying my very 1st house. I'm sorry that you think it's been so easy for us and I've just been handed keys and I've had to do nothing to get it. Cause if you'd at least ask you'd know how truly difficult it truly has been. I don't share all my trials with people cause some things are better left unsaid. But walking out of escrow yesterday should have made me extremely happy... but I was shocked by something that was not discussed and I left crying. Yes I figured it out and got everything fixed. But did I tell any of you that, no!
I'm sorry I have a relationship with my sister in laws. But truthfully they make an effort to spend time with me, the spend time with my children, and there is no F-ING drama ever. They do not get mad at me if I have a good day, they do not get mad at me for being tired. They do not judge me when I'm having a bad day. I'm married and because I'm married I have now 2 families. It would be selfish of me to not have a relationship with Mikes family only so I could spare others feelings because they are jealous of what the hell ever. I'm no different than I was in Lake Stevens... but maybe just maybe I'm a little happier because I actually have people to hang out with, and who have time for me.
I'm sorry that I've posted things on Facebook about being tired, and having a bad day. See I'm a stay at home mom which means while all you people out there who have jobs outside of the home actually have ADULTS to talk to. Sometimes I need to vent or I need an outlet. I had no idea in posting that I was tired on facebook that it would come across as bitching and that I have this horrible f-ing life. For once instead of people telling me to walk in there shoes, try walking in mine. I mean seriously do you need me to write down the things I do on a daily basis and then you tell me how I'm not supposed to be f-ing tired. It's not like I sit on the damn couch and eat bon bons all day watching shops! (only half the day)

I'm just so tired of dealing with things that I have no control over. I guess it's my fault in all reality because I've decided to post things out there for all to read... from my facebook account, to myspace and my blog. But when I look back on things I don't think I'm making myself out to be PERFECT, or bitching. I'm just being real, I'm living my life. I've never once tried to hide who I am to spare others. If you don't like me or the things I say STOP READING MY SHIT AND STOP BEING IN MY LIFE.

I've grown a lot over the years, I've been through a lot. I've had my heart broken and trampled on and I've made HORRIBLE decisions with money and the list could go on and on and on. However what I've decided to do is learn from the experience and make sure that I never make that mistake again. I have to set an example for my children, I have to make sure they now that it's ok to make mistakes... but you have to be able to learn from them and move on. If we all sat around waiting for others to pick themselves up then we'd be nothing. I cannot and will not live my life for anyone else...

Sorry if I've hurt anyone, but truthfully I'm so tired of being other peoples punching bags... so if you don't enjoy my ride get off and enjoy yours!

UHHHH!!!

2009-08-24T09:05:00.001-07:00

2 days people, 2 days!!!

I've hit the wall...

2009-08-21T19:24:00.000-07:00

I cannot take anymore, I would like for this to be over... some1 please tell me there is an end in sight!!!

Back in 1999...

2009-08-17T16:30:00.000-07:00

So my 10 year reunion is coming up. It's set for Sept. 11th. I want to go but then I don't... for so many reasons I'm not gonna get into now. But another cause it's kinda expensive.

I'd like some peoples inputs on whether they went to the 10 year if not why... or any advice.

Thanks!

Sad, Sad, Sad...

2009-08-11T12:55:00.002-07:00

So my Grandfather passed away today at 4am. He's been sick for a long while and recently had a heart attack. We knew the time would come.

I took the kids and hubby to see him a couple of weeks ago when he had a short transfer to the hospital in Everett. It was Mike and Jared's 2nd time ever seeing him and Anna's first time meeting him. I wish that they all could have met and seen each other on different terms. But at least they/we all got to see him.

I'm not sure yet how I feel about it all. Of course I'm sad, but right now I feel sorta in a state of shock. Death is not something I like, and this is really the 2nd time someone close in my family has passed. But mostly my heart is broken for my father and of course my Aunts.

I'll be hugging my family a little tighter today and I will be reflecting on my life and the life of my grandfather!

200

2009-08-11T12:55:00.001-07:00

POSTS! Did anyone else notice that I posted my 200th post yesterday?

Well congrats to me!

House...

2009-08-10T07:57:00.000-07:00

So we are getting close to "closing" day and we are starting to get a little excited. When we got back from camping we went to check the house out. It finally got the carpet put in. It's looking great and I am trying to be patient for when we move in.

Keep saying your prayers that everything keeps on going the way it should... and once we get the keys I'll post all the pics!

Camping update...

2009-08-10T07:50:00.000-07:00

So we made it, we all survived. Camping was great and we all had a great time. The food lasted, I don't think we had to much or to little. Everyone (even 1 person whom I didn't think would do well, did well). There was only 1 issue that I will not get into... we'll just say it almost cut the trip short but everyone just dealt with it and did there own things to avoid anymore issues.

One thing ALL of us could not stand were the bee's... OH THE BEE'S! I even had dreams about the darn bee's. It was horrible, and I mean horrible. Who would have thought that bee's LOVED meat. Every single time the hot dogs came out or the bacon we were attacked by bee's. I'm pretty certain that my daughter was stung twice. Once on the ear and once on the lip. The poor girl was terrified of bee's and every time one came close to here she totally melted! At a couple of points during the trip we had to put some of their favorite foods on a plate and walk it a little further from the campsite so they would go eat away from us. It was INSANE and that was a big reason I may never go back to that campsite again.

Mike and I got to spend some time alone without the kids. We went on a walk and went down to the beach and just sat and talked for a while. It was nice to get that time together.

So in short everyone had a great time and Annalise and Jared are AWESOME campers! I'll post pics once I get some from Mandy.

Camping...

2009-08-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

I want some input. We are going camping and will be gone for 4 days and 3 nights.

Someone give me an answer here...

How much do you think should be spent on food for 4 days and 3 nights excluding booze?

If I get some answers, I'll explain why on the next post!!!

HOT!!!

2009-07-28T08:31:00.001-07:00

It's to hot for my liking... so hot in fact when I was watching the news and they said that Wednesday could be as hot as 101 degree's I seriously almost cried.

I have 4 kids in my care and I was a sweating pig just getting them into the car yesterday to go run errands. We ended up staying at Mandy's house to try and stay a little cooler. It seems my tiny little house is a cooking pot!!!

The past 2 mornings I've woken up HOT... and I hate that feeling. Usually at nights u get to recoup and feel better. Yeah so not the case.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

2009-07-14T08:03:00.000-07:00

My son is 7 today. Oh my gosh did I actually type that right? 7 years old???

Where in the world did the time go?

I love my little man so dearly and am so proud of what a young man he's become.

HAPPY 7TH BIRTHDAY MY LITTLE JAR BEAR!!!

Calmer

2009-07-09T07:46:00.000-07:00

It seems like when I post things here it goes up in flames... so I've been a little guarded, even deleted some post's because I don't know why... But things have calmed down a little in our Crazy home. I think I've found peace in what we are doing and where we are going. It seems we go through hurdles a lot, and as much as I hate having to go through them... they obviously teach you somethings.

So Mike will be gone this weekend hiking with our friend Aaron. I've been very anxious about him going but since this blog likes to ruin things I won't say why. I'm excited for Mike, he needs this time in the woods to collect his thoughts and just be by himself. Just praying for a safe trip and a safe return.

Annalise is doing a little better. But as the days go by I realize how attached she is to me and how much worse it is getting. I love love love how close we are. But honestly going to take a shower has been very drama filled with her. She is just going through some stuff and she loves to throw tantrums and even better she LOVES to scream at the top of her lungs. We obviously have a lot of work to do, but either way I love her with every ounce of my soul!

Jared Jared Jared... he is almost 7. Can you freaking believe that he is almost 7? I can't, honestly I have NO IDEA where 7 years went. My little baby boy is no baby boy, he is almost as tall as me. He lost another tooth two days ago, and every tooth he looses he looses another part of being a baby. :( I am so proud of my little man!!!

On another "oh my gosh moment"... July 13th will be 8 years since our first date. OH MY GOSH!!!

I have...

2009-06-29T18:26:00.000-07:00

A sick baby girl, she's been throwing up all day. I hope she gets over this fast. Because my poor baby is sick I'll be staying home while Daddy and Jared head to Oregon for the sort vacation with Mandy and Jason.

As much as I would LOVE to go... I'd rather stay home then bring a sick baby in the car. So here's to a fast recovery! (maybe that's why she was so whinny yesterday, today I'm eating crow!)

Jet Plane...

2009-06-28T10:11:00.000-07:00

today I feel like I want to get on a jet plane and never come back... Sometimes it gets to be to much for me. My husband isn't feeling well and is taking it out on me... and it's not like it's been for the past couple of days. I can handle days, but weeks- DONE! My daughter has decided that she is gonna whine about EVERYTHING and honestly I want to pull my f-ing hair out-DONE! My son pulls at my strings and my buttons all day, he tries to see how far he can go and honestly-DONE!

I am constantly being told what I could do better, what I'm not doing right. I feel like I don't want to go anywhere with my children because they just aren't being the best lately. I don't even want to go into the things I'm dealing with in other aspects because then I feel like I'll be whining and taking what I have for granted. (because I've been told I do that to.)

At some point in my life I'd like for someone to tell me something good about me. I'd like for the positive to be pointed out not the negative. I'd like for the stars to line up just right and my kids not push every button possible, not totally be disrespectful... just be the happy kids they usually are. I'd like my house to STAY CLEAN, I'd like to NEVER do laundry again. I'd like to NEVER be compared to another human being again... I'd like for one day of peace or more... I'd like to be the apple in someones eye!!! Hopefully this to shall pass and we'll be better tomorrow.

DONE!!!

1st order!

2009-06-18T20:09:00.001-07:00

So I promoted myself on my blog, Facebook and Myspace. Out of that I got 1 order and I just completed it. 6 roses for tomorrow! I feel very accomplished and very proud! Here's to more, pass the word around!

I want to...

2009-06-16T09:34:00.000-07:00

tell you about the new house... But I am honestly afraid to jinx it. Things got crazy stressful for about 4 or 5 days, we found a solution... Everything seems to be going in the right direction. But this has been a dream of Mike and I's for a very very long time. It has taken us years to get on top of things and FINALLY be able to do this. It's been small baby steps for us. But we are so close I can smell it and if by posting anything (to much) about it jinx's it... I'm gonna be so mad.

So you all are really gonna have to wait until we close August 26th. I know that's gonna be hard, cause it's hard for me... but you'll love the surprise as much as we do!

BJSweets

2009-06-14T16:29:00.000-07:00

So I am starting up a little candy shop... I'll be opening it up on Etsy pretty soon, but wanted to get the word around first on all the sites! :) My mother in law got me started on this. I have been practicing over the past month or so... I debut them at Jared's baseball game. And here are a few I've done today.

They are hand painted chocolate's and they are so cool. I can do custom orders for birthday's, weddings, well pretty much anything. I am also going to be doing bouquets in cups and stuff... I can have them shipped to you or wherever you want them to go.

Feel free to ask me ANY question and we can discuss price if you are interested. If you aren't but know someone that is, please pass the word around.

I think...

2009-06-12T16:07:00.000-07:00

we will be homeowners as of August 26th... don't want to get into to much cause I don't want to jinx it... but I think that's when it'll be. (it's still being built) :)

No one said...

2009-06-12T10:44:00.000-07:00

Buying a house was easy... but this is CRAZY!

I may have a ton of gray hair after this. Between Annalise being sick and this whole house thing... put me in a padded room!

...

2009-06-11T09:58:00.001-07:00

still waiting...

And...

2009-06-09T22:19:00.001-07:00

waiting...

WAITING...

2009-06-09T07:18:00.000-07:00

SUCKS!

I'm at the end of my ropes...

2009-06-08T12:58:00.000-07:00

My darling daughter is sick and has been for the past couple of days. As much as I have sympathy for her and her illness... the whining (oh the whining) is wearing on me so much. The littlest things throw her over the edge and nights, oh nights are fun.

I cannot wait until she's better, oh how I love my bubbly happy baby girl (I do also LOVE LOVE my sick baby to, if you had any questions)!!!

Tomorrow is the day,

2009-06-06T13:54:00.000-07:00

I Hope! We are going to look at houses and we are hoping for a certain one and we are hoping to make an offer tomorrow. We don't have much time before our lease is up and so we really cannot wait to become homeowners!

Words really cannot express how excited, hopeful and nervous we are.

Hot, hot, and

2009-06-04T17:34:00.000-07:00

HOT!!!

I am in no mood to post. But wanted to let you guys know that hopefully soon Mike and I will be buying a home. There really are NO words to express how truly happy and grown up we are and have become!

Something...

2009-05-24T20:55:00.000-07:00

I am going to be opening a shop on Etsy pretty soon... it's gonna be homemade candy... I'll post more details soon... I've had an extremely long day and I'm super tired and don't have the will for this blog today. Until then, enjoy the sun!

Yesterday...

2009-05-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

So lets go back to about 2 months ago. It was late in the night, Annalise had been asleep for an hour or so. All of a sudden she started flopping around on the bed. At first I thought she was just kicking off her covers (she doesn't like to be covered up)... but then a couple of minuets later she did it again and again and again. She'd kick her legs up in the air, her body would tense up and then she'd be done. My heart started pounding and I freaked out.

I went and got Mike whom I think was watching tv at the time. He came in and watched her but he didn't seem to concerned. I WAS FREAKING OUT! We woke her up to see if she did it while she was awake (she did not)... so after a few she went back to sleep. As I had fallen into sleep she started again and I went and got Mike and this time I was crying because I had no idea what was going on. He grabbed the computer and we laid in bed looking at what it could possibly be. He was thinking that her tummy hurt and it was just a reaction to that. All I could think was taking her the ER my baby is having seizures.

We woke her up again and let her watch her movie while we talked and Mike calmed me down. We were up until about 2 or 3 and we finally let her go back to sleep. She did not do it the rest of the night. Since that night it's been in the back of my mind, but I wasn't as worried... maybe it was just a freak thing, maybe she was teething and it was her reaction to the pain.

Fast forward to 3 nights ago. 11pm she started again. I didn't go straight to Mike cause he is REALLY passive when it comes to anything and really pisses me off. So I went and got the computer and looked up all possible things that could be going on. I let it go on for 2 hours and I could not stand it anymore. I woke Mike up and he came and woke Annalise up. She was not a happy camper at all. She did not want to be awake and cried and screamed at us the whole time. After about 2o minuets or so we let her go back to sleep and she didn't do it the rest of the evening.

I took her to the doctors yesterday. For a rash she has and the night thing. The doctor didn't seem to concerned either... which really pisses me off, but I'll bear with the damn doctor for the time being. I did notice a trend in the two instances. Annalise had stayed up late both times and was overly tired. So the doctor thinks she may have issues with being overly tired. She wants me to record her doing it (if she does again), so she can see exactly what it is she is doing.

So for the time being I'm not gonna stress, but if she does it again I'm gonna be mad. Please pray that it's nothing terrible and she'll just grow out of it.

I'm bad...

2009-05-15T21:15:00.000-07:00

Haven't gone to the gym in 7 days. Been sick all freaking week and I'm miserable. So is Annalise, she has a horse voice. So sad. Last night we were both up all night coughing.

Tomorrow we have another baseball game. Then we are going to the Lacey Fun Fair... then off to do some scrapbooking! I've been collecting a few things here and there, so lets see if I can get a book put together by myself!

Well our household is gonna be going through some changes. I'm not gonna go into it right now, but I'll fill you all in later when I have a moment!

Poo #2

2009-05-14T09:54:00.000-07:00

Annalise went potty in the toilet again this morning. We were hanging with Mike in the bedroom and she got this look on her face and said, "poop". I asked her if she wanted to go on the toilet and she ran to the living room. (Where we have the training potty seat, we are trying to get Ryker to go in the potty!) So I sat her down and she was getting distracted. So I put one of her movies on, and little did I know a few minuets later she poo'd!!!!

I'm so proud of her, she is AMAZING!

Oh did I mention?

2009-05-12T08:09:00.001-07:00

Oh the list keeps getting bigger...

My mother in law makes chocolate suckers and I'm starting a shop for her on Etsy... and will be making them to! I will be making a trip to her house in the next week or so to set up her shop... and then I'm gonna learn how to make these treats and will be part of the business!

FUN TIMES!

Softball...

2009-05-10T19:14:00.000-07:00

So Mike started playing softball with some of the people at his work. I guess they are starting a team. Anyway, Mike really wants me to play also. (I used to play when I was younger)... So for mothers day he got me some softball stuff. A glove, balls and a PINK baseball shirt! Mandy also got a mitt so she could play with us to.

We went to the park yesterday and played around, I got to hit a few balls... surprisingly enough I can still hit and I can still catch the ball. Even though I was a bit scared of being hit by the ball, I did pretty good for not playing in YEARS!

So there is another thing our family has started doing. It was actually awesome today. Mandy, Tia, all the kids and Mike went to the park again today (mothers day) and hit some balls around. I sat there and watched my husband coach Jared and just fell in love with my family all over again. We've evolved into a better family. It seems to get a little better everyday. Getting outdoors is helping me with my stress and my migraines... and my depression! (maybe my doctor was right).

So I've started working out at the gym, softball and scrapbooking... on top of 4 kids and keeping my household up. Lets see how I do?

Scrapbook!

2009-05-10T19:11:00.000-07:00

So I have started my new hobby of scrapbooks! My sis-in laws and I made one for my mother in law... and I got the bug. So Tia and I went to the store and bought some stuff, and then we went back with Mandy and got some more. And for Mothers Day... I got a gift card for the scrapbook store down the road. I went there today after our mothers day celebration and got a few more things. My head is spinning with all the things I want to do.

But I am gonna start with just 1 book and a small book. It's gonna be a theme of Summer... So we'll see how that goes and I'll keep you updated. I am soooooooo excited!

Check this out... it's amazing!

2009-05-09T15:02:00.001-07:00

Day 4

2009-05-08T16:02:00.000-07:00

Went on elliptical for 15 minuets... almost died. Then on the treadmill for 10... gym kicked my butt, thought I was gonna pass out!!! Still another defeat in the gym, is it ever gonna get easier???

Day 3!

2009-05-04T20:24:00.000-07:00

Mike and I went today... we worked on legs and cardio. It went fine, nothing to exciting to write about... at least I'm still going, right?

This week...

2009-05-03T21:37:00.001-07:00

So this week is our every other week family dinners. I've got Tuesdays (as I always do)... and my day I'm making a Mexican macaroni dinner. I'm also going to shoot for working out 3 days. Last week was only 2. I hurt my arm and it's starting to mend so I'll be good to go for this week.

I also started scrap booking yesterday and it's fun and I'm having fun!!!

Day 2!

2009-04-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

I did it, I went by myself.

I went on the elliptical trainer for 10 mins of hell and then on to the treadmill for 15 mins... in that 15 mins I ran about 2 mins and walked fast for the rest. Oh the sweat was puring off, but I'm starting to feel better now... and guess what? My husband didn't think I'd actually do it and he was proud but mad. Guess he's pretty competitive so now he's gotta go and work out! :)

What's gonna happen for day 3?

Day 1

2009-04-30T09:43:00.000-07:00

So I Mike and I went to the gym yesterday... I survived and may even try to go by myself today. If anyone knows me at all knows that I don't like the gym and I don't like going by myself. I'm really self conscious about that for some reason. But Mike was trying to pump me up a little yesterday and I really have a goal in mind so I'm gonna try.

I may start posting blogs about my progress but we'll see how the first week or so goes first!

Poo Poo in the potty!!!

2009-04-24T11:56:00.000-07:00

Gotta say I'm sooooooo FREAKING excited. My daughter just went poo poo in the potty!

We're having a party!!!

Gym

2009-04-21T09:57:00.001-07:00

So Mike and I originally signed up for rock climbing... and as much as we loved it, it was very hard for us to ever go. They did not have child care and we couldn't always ask my sister in law to watch the kids so we could go.

So NOW we've signed up to a gym... and I am gonna get my a** is shape. I really really need to. Wish us luck!!!

Camping

2009-04-20T20:07:00.000-07:00

I was afraid of camping with my two children... However it was fun and it turned out so much better than I pictured. Well minus it being 30 degree's and I had the crappiest sleeping bag and poor poor Anna was cold.

Saturday Jared had his first game, which was AMAZING! When he went up to bat I bawled. I was so proud and so happy and it brought back so many memories from me being in softball.

After baseball we went to the house and got some blankets for me and Annalise and got Mikes boat. Back at camp we had a great time. Anna's first time on the boat. Mike and Jared's 1st fish of the year.

I do have some pics but I don't have time to post them.

Upcoming events...

2009-04-16T16:37:00.000-07:00

We've been busy, I've been overwhelmed... and well I've had a migraine/headache for over a week. We are adjusting to life with 4 kids. It's gotten better, but it's still very hectic and busy all the time. Jared has been having baseball practice and has his 1st game this Saturday... we'll see how it goes!

Tomorrow we leave for our first Moline camping trip (I am so nervous). Saturday we'll get up early, eat breakfast and then head to Jared's game at 10. Then we'll head back to finish up camping. Get up Sunday morning eat breakfast and head back North for baseball pictures! (Seriously busy busy all the time!)

As far as my blogging goes. I've been trying to decide if I want to keep it up. I've felt this lack of interest from my readers (lack of comments)... I write not only for myself but for others to, plus I just haven't been feeling up to doing much lately. So I'll let you all know whether to come back and check in or whether I'm gonna shut this baby down!

Until then I'll try and take photo's... but it'll have to be from my phone cause my momma has my disk! :) and I'll post our camping adventure when I have a moment! Ta Ta for now!!!

Taking a break!

2009-04-02T09:17:00.000-07:00

So I know I haven't been blogging a lot lately... but to be honest I've been spending to much time on the computer. I'm going to (try) take a break from the computer for a bit. I haven't been feeling good, dealing with migraines and now I'm dizzy... so I'm gonna try and recoup and then also spend some more time with my kids. I've felt so distant and lost lately, so its time for me to get back into the swing of things.

I'll be back, don't you people worry... but until then you all are in my thoughts!